My Colourful Life

14 and 15

2012-02-15T22:33:00.000+08:00

hello world!!
i know it's late but still want to say:

HAPPY VALENTINE DAY!!

how's ur valentine day?? Mine was ok. Nothing special like last year. Ytd, me and housemate celebrated valentine day together. 3 of us only stayed at home and had dinner as usual. But i made sushi for them. hehe. And without any plan, 3 of us were wearing pink pajamas. haha.

andddd do u know what date today?? It's February 15, exactly one day after valentine day which is my born day. haha.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MYSELF!! ^o^

zhu wo sheng ri kuai le.

Thanks God for giving and letting me to live and breath till this age. I already made wishes this morning, then made wishes again when blew candles on my b'day cake from mummy club. hehe. love ya guys. My wishes are the same each time i made a wish. =) ok, i can't tell u guys. XD erm, nothing really special for my bday, but thank u for everyone who remember my b'day. Thank u for all wishes. ^^ I love u all. *later will upload some photos.

anw, my prelim is less than 2 weeks and i haven't studied yet. i am quite panic now. seriously, i need to study, force and pull myself to study harder, if can, i should give triple effort this time. wish me luck, guys. I just want to PASS. that's all. =)

prelim is coming

2012-02-12T16:58:00.000+08:00

I haven't studied yettt. omg. I am really in bad condition. My prelim will come the end of this month, but i still haven't started my revision yet. I haven't even opened single page of my lecture notes. I definitely know i have nothing inside my brain, but why i still so relax and still can watch conan every day. I do sure die if i continue do such thing. I only have 2 weeks from now to study 3 subjects for my prelim, another 1 subject i think 1 week after the last prelim will do. but still not sure too. I am afraid, but i still do nothing. why like that?? haiz. It is actually just left 2 months before my real exam, which mean i only have 2 weeks to cover each subject. May i do this all? Based on my experience, it is far far away from enough. Haiz.

This is my last year. The last time for study and face exam if everything goes well. I want to survive. Die die must PASS. but how?? I haven't studied yet, and there are so many things to study. I am afraid.... Everyday i saw my friends stay till late at school to study, it really makes me so stressful. T.T I want to start, but there are so many barriers. The biggest barrier is my laptop itself. arrgghhh. I think i will try to keep my laptop far far away from me. Guys, would u please do me a favour? Please pray for me. I want to PASS my exam.

God, give me courage. wake me up when i do something unrelated with my study. Please God, help me.

despoo

2012-02-03T11:32:00.000+08:00

Finally i can sleep 9 hours. I got a dream, it was a scary dream. ='( i do not want it to be real. God, help me..

Anw, i think i will have another busy weeks this month. I really need to force myself to study to catch up so many things. I am not blur about my 4 subjects, i just know nothing. My position is so damn dangerous now. My friends keep studying and studying while me still confuse which subject to start on. >.<

I want to PASS. Die die must PASS.

Guys, pray for me please. I really want to PASS. Everyone want to get good score, so do i. But now with my ability, i only want to get the PASS passing grade which is 34. Moreover, since day one in UOL, i only aim for 34. I only thought how to pass my exam. Just give me a word ''PASS'', it is more than enough for me. I WANT TO PASS. ='( Pray for me guyssss..

Happy Chinese New Year 2012!

2012-01-29T20:05:00.000+08:00

hello everyone!!

HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR!!!

GONG XI GONG XI... ^o^

I know today is 29 January, but i still want to say Happy Chinese New Year!

Hope all of us in this world can be better than last year.

I went back to my hometown for 6 days to celebrate Chinese New Year. Oh yeah, it is great when i reached home. But honestly speaking, Sibolga is damn HOT! Anw, it is not enough to stay only 6 days there, i want to stay a lil bit longer. But i have no choice, i must go back to SG. Unfortunately, i was sick when i reached SG. Fever, cough and flu came towards me. sigh. i want to get well soon as soon as possible.

Btw, my prelim is coming next month. Oh damn. what should i do?? I haven't studied anything. These 4 subjects are super difficult. I really have no idea which subject to start first. Really super dieeee!! I wish i am smart, but i am not. I want to cry, but tears already dry. >.< My friends are busy studying everyday, while me busy playing and watching drama. OMG! What should i do now?? I know i must start study, but from where?? Which part should i study first?? My brain is super empty. T.T

My exam timetable has come out. I only have 3 months left to catch up everything. Based on my experience, it is not enough to have only 3 months to catch everything. I am super dieeee!! argghhh nooo.. why i am so stupid? why i never study??

God, please help me. please! Tell me what to do. I need Ur help, God! U are the only One who can help me. Please help me, God. ='(

unexpected

2012-01-08T23:20:00.003+08:00

I am speechless, stunned. I really thank GOD for what U have given for me. I never thought that i will get this surprise. Although it still uncertain to get it, but really THANK GOD for giving me such a chance. The result of this chance will depend on my effort. I admit i put much effort last year compare to this year. I was too enjoying myself during these 7 months. But, because of this news, i wake up now. I realize i have left many things behind me. I need to give much much effort than last year, even double effort for my study. I do not know whether i have enough time to catch up everything or not. I only have less than 4 months to catch 36 topics. One thing is certain that time will not stop even if i cry blood. I do not want to waste this chance, but if i do not well for my last year, the chance will disappear. So, i will try my best to stop playing and start studying.

GOD, i really thank U for giving me this chance. ^o^

2012 begins..

2012-01-01T02:40:00.001+08:00

HAPPY NEW YEAR 2012!!

Happy Metta Day.. Be HAPPY everyone.

Hope this year will be the best year for us, will be much much better than 2011.

Like i said in my previous post, I am in SG celebrating the new year. This year is very different with last year. I celebrate new year with my friends. This is the first time we celebrate new year together. Although it was just 4 of us, but it is memorable. We went to City Hall, it is looked like sea of people. Fortunately we can find the best place to watch fireworks. Thanks GOD. The fireworks lasted for more than 10 mins, they were beautiful. <3 The first think came to my mind at that time is i wish my parents may also watch this beautiful fireworks. Happy New Year, mom, dad! I love youuu!!
Some people said, new year must have new resolution. How bout urs?? I got list of them in my head already. New resolutions start from 00.00.01 on 1 January 2012. hehe. XD

anw, i am so tired. i'll continue and upload some photos next time.

Good Night and Happy New Year again guyss.. =)

end of 2011

2011-12-31T01:21:00.000+08:00

This year i also do not go back to my hometown. Beside the ticket is too expensive, i also got no holiday. hhh... I cannot say i got no holiday, i got but only 24-26 and 31-2. I got class between that range and for this time i do not complaint about it. XD Some of my friends were going back already before Christmas while the rest of us still stay in Singapore. But before they went back to Indonesia, we made Christmas party. We ate buffet on Seoul Garden like i told on my last post that i sick after ate there. hehe. We exchanged Christmas gift, and i got colorful stabillo from Pei. She said the gift is for me to get first class. haha. Thanks pei for ur wish. Sadhu.. I wish i can get, but i know my own ability. haha. It is impossible for me, but thank u for the wish. ^^

I spent Christmas eve with Mira at Sentosa. Unluckily, there was no Christmas party or any Christmas celebration, but i enjoyed my day with her. =) Today is her birthday. Happy birthday Miraaaa!!! wish u all the best! good luck for our coming exam. May Tri Ratna always protect u. BBU!! ^^ Me, Jessica Taffy and Preily celebrated her birthday and spent whole day with her. Woah.. I feel so happy today, we had fun together. I went out for 10 hours. haha. It is good to forget about JK for a while. Yeah, we r going to spent New Year's eve together again. It is left than 24 hours to 2012. hhh... Ganbatte for myself! ^^

oh ya. finally, i went to listen to Ajahn Brahm's Dhamma Talk on 29 Dec. Thanks to ce Vicky, ce Candrika and ko Heinz for helping me. The theme of the talk is ''letting go the past, embracing the future''. It was great talk. Ajahn Brahm said ''we need to think in positive way. people said there will be crisis economy in 2012, but Ajahn Brahm said we can fix it. We need to think positively''. anw, if some of u that ever thought the world will end on Dec 2012, u may feel assure because Ajahn Brahm said the world will not end this year, so we still have time to do a lot a lot good karma. =) Ajahn Brahm also said ''we learn from mistakes we did in the past'' and i believe this. Good news for all of us in Singapore, Ajahn Brahm will back to Singapore on March 2012. Come to His talk, i guarantee u will not regret. ^^

2011-12-26T23:58:00.000+08:00

My LIFE is NOT PERFECT..

But It does not mean, My LIFE is not BEAUTIFUL!! ^o^

REGRET!!!

2011-12-23T00:02:00.001+08:00

I am regret. SH*T!! Really regret. sigh. why i ate so many things on today's lunch. i know i had buffet this afternoon in seoul garden, but i doesn't mean i can eat everything i want. I ate like crazy one. sigh. I am really regret. why i did not just agree when others suggest to had lunch on paradise dynasty. haiz. if i agreed with my friend's suggestion to have lunch there, i will not eat that much. arghhh.. why i am so stupid? never control what i had eaten. sigh. super idiot liao!! i ate too many salty curry fish, vegetables, chicken and beef with many taste, after that i ate 2 bowls of ice cream with 8 scoops on them and had another fruits. I also had lemon tea, peach tea and cappuccino. i really just realized i ate so many things on lunch. No wonder my stomach become so big and complaint me. then at the end, my gastric pain came and my stomach still hurt till now. ='( and the most regretful thing is my face become swollen and big. arghhh.. can i make my face thin??? i need tight diet already since chinese new year will come soon. I am afraid i can not wear my clothes that i bought last time. :'( but why each time i do diet, my face never thin??? hikz. arghhh.. i am really so stupid. If i agreed with my friends to had lunch in other place, i won't suffer these pains. I AM REGRET!!

dear my stomach, face, and whole part of my body: ''forgive me''. i promise this is the last time, i did this crazy things, really no next time. can u guys back to the normal size?? i will do diet. really!! just help me.. pleasee.. help me to have success diet till chinese new year. pleeeaseee!! *begging.

I am here writing this post just to make myself know, not blaming anyone else. Because i know it's my fault. I'd better say here clearly, rather than other people will misunderstand me again. As u know, i am lazy to explain when it comes to misunderstanding.

I am not only regret whatever stupidity i did this afternoon, but also i regret why i did not study from the beginning, now i am lost. i really lost on my subjects. each time i say i want to change and start study, but the reality i did not. since this is my last year, why i become so lazy?? why i never wake up and learn from my second year that rushing study for UOL can make me crazy. UOL is not as easy as other school. 3 hours on exam will determine our future. but why i always do the wrong thing and have never waken up yet and me even become worse than second year. I really do not where i should start to study now. All of my subjects has reached the middle topic of the whole year's chapters. Can i catch them up?? I realize that now i left far far away behind my friends. They always study after the classes end, while me stay in front of my laptop doing useless thing. When will i change this bad habit?? I do not have enough time anymore if i do not start study soon. 2012 will come soon, u and me only need to count down using 10 fingers. hmm.. guys, i really regret now. really! T.T i am afraid if i can not do well on my exam. I only need to get 34 for all subjects. Just let me pass and it is okay for me. I do not want to dissapoint my parents and my god-grandparents, especially my god- grandfather who has left me forever. *anw, i miss u kakek. ='(

Me now is really bad. I waste so many precious time of my life while others even want to have more time but they can not have it. I really regret with what i had done. I feel like nothing. I even have not did something that make my parents proud of me yet. hhhh.. So bad liaooo!!! what kind of girl i am??

GOD, can you forgive me??

2011-12-03T11:24:00.000+08:00

I just notice and realise something. My lately posts seems so desperate. Almost all of them! haha. yeah yeah, I am desperate now. So stress!! There are so many things to do but i do not know which part to do first. >.< haiz.

anw, another desperate post in my twitter, "regret i used to want to fat a lil bit, who knows now i am really fat till dunno how to be thin". haha. i have problem with my chubby cheeks. They are so big. omg. This time i really do diet. wish me success. Restricition no 1. No bread in the morning anymore. Everyday eat bread on breakfast make me wanna vomit. Really, it is enough for me to eat bread every day in these 3 months. I'd better skip my breakfast rather than eat bread again!!

anw, i watched PUSS in BOOTS!! I couldn't stop laughing all the time. =) RECOMMENDED!

2011-12-01T23:39:00.002+08:00

Dear blog:
Thanks, you never leave me alone. Thanks to listen everything bullshit that i wrote on you. I feel so great to have u. Although u can not gimme answer towards my answers but u let others help me to go out from my problems. Blog, i know sometimes u want to complain me because of my stupidity and bad habit, but u do not, and still listen me. When i cannot find my best friend to share my days, problems, and happiness, u will come and let me to tell everything out. Honestly speaking, i think i lose my best friend already. Since that incident, our friendship has changed. We rarely talked, shared, chat, etc. I really do miss every time with my best friend. I felt like he left me behind. Maybe i just need to wait till he said, "we are no longer best friend". T.T No word can explain how i feel right now, when i know i lose my best friend forever. ahhhh.. nooo...!!! What to do thennnn??? I wish he will never say that worst thing, never! T.T Blog, are u going to leave me someday?? Please, do not leave me, blog, because i am afraid being alone in this world.

2011-11-30T16:06:00.000+08:00

alohaa.. November will end soon. It is just 8 hours left to December. Time really flies so fast. I even can not recall what have i done in this month. so scary! anw, i am fat!! omg. my weight still the same, but my face become chubby than before. it's so scary every time i look myself in the mirror. i have to find way out from this problem. >.<

I miss my best boy friend lately. I used to share with him, but now he is disappeared. I have no idea where he is now. haha. so bad. waaaa.. I miss him. There are so many things i want to share. >.< hhh.. maybe he is busy with his last semester since he will graduate the end of this year and again he do not tell me. sigh. i think i loss connection with him since 2 months ago. haiz. I wish we are still best friend!! >.<

2011-11-26T23:34:00.000+08:00

hello world!

I miss home. Maybe because my roommate went back to Medan this evening. I want to go back too. yeah. time flies.my time to go back will come soon too. but the problem is i miss home so badly right now. ='(

i am tired of everything. There are so many things to do, but i do not know how to handle them. I have 4 subjects this year. JK's classes really make me crazy. He gives us homework, assignments, articles and tests and these are double since i have 2 subjects with him. Because of this, i left the other 2 sbjcts behind. haiz. i need a break. Mr JK, can u please stop give us so many articles? even the last topic's articles i haven't read yet. =( or just wait till i finish my readings.

honestly speaking, MA is very tough. I sometimes clueless when doing the homework. T.T but it doesn't mean, other subjects are not tough. they are tough too, but not as tough as MA. i am really afraid to face my exam next year. I just wish to pass. No need to score high, just gimme pass. it is enough for me. Afraid, anxious, nervous to think about exam. Sad because i can not handle my subjects, have no idea how to do homework and assignments, and miss my parents so much. I need to catch up. Pray for me, guys!!

Survival

2011-11-20T15:51:00.001+08:00

Can I survive for the last battle in my degree? Life is getting tough everyday. I have so many assignments, homework, and article to read up. Everything is out of my controlled. I do not think i can handle all of them. I am breathless, clueless. It feels like there are so many things chase me, and i also need to catch the other things. My brain is full of list to do, but i just do not know how to start, where should i start.

When i see my friends are doing well, i am envy of them. How they can do it? Why i am the only one can not do well? Seriously, i need to study. There are so many things i do not know. But when i can start to study? Assignments, homework and articles are queuing up on their line and waiting for me to finish them up. hufffff... I wish time will run slowly or may i have more than 24 hours a day? I wish i am smart like others. Do not need to put so much effort in doing these things. But i am not. Then how can i survive? hhhh.. I HOPE I CAN SURVIVE TILL THE END! Sadhu3x.

JK's quotes: I am very happy to see you today. (8 words)

Sleep very early! (3 words)

Never die before!

are you boring? read articles! boring again? do assignments! still boring?? look for him to get any presents!

normal answers means normally wrong!
ti ti tu tu!!
u are not in mickey mouse university.

i just remember these quotes, later i will share another quotes from him.

2011-11-17T23:39:00.000+08:00

Honestly speaking, I am quite sad because my assignment was rejected by my lecturer this morning because a little mistake. I really did not know that i must sited the author name after i took the information from books. sigh. okay, although mine was not the only one being rejected, but i am really sad.
I also feel since my class started 2 months ago, i overestimate myself. I thought everything is going to be okay, but now, everything is very bad. Whatever i have done in this 3 months seems was nothing, uncontrolled, and beyond my expectations. I know myself more than anyone else. It is true that i am too relax because i only have 4 subjects in this year, but because of this i become do not care to my subjects and arrogant. I did not touch them. hhh. how i can move on and pass my degree if i did not do something to help my ownself to pass. sigh. I hate me now. Wake me up! Stop dream the past, face future!!!
Dear myself, please look at yourself in the mirror. U are worse than before. Please wake up from your dream. you are not in second year, forget your pass result. Start it over again for ur last year. FIGHT for DEGREE! Please use all of your power to PASS for the last time. Do not disappointing ur parents anymore. They put high expectations on you.

love my degree life.

2011-11-14T18:37:00.001+08:00

Last year, i always want to finish my degree as soon as possible. But from yesterday, i really do not want my degree end. I want to have a longer time spend in my degree. I want to spend all my time with my friends. Going anywhere, shopping, having fun together with them. Although now i have a lot of assignments, homework and test, but i still want to my degree do not end so fast, but it doesn't mean i do not want to pass. I WANT TO PASS! But honestly speaking, it's just the first time my brain and my heart feel i love my school life. =) At least, let me create something unforgettable for my degree. I do not know after finishing my degree, i will be able to gather with my friends anymore. Everyone will be busy with their work for sure. Hhhhh.. I love my degree life. =) time, please do not run. let me enjoy every second, minute, and hour in my degree life.

anw, today is my first time go to karaoke with my friends. Okay. I know my voice is below standard, but i still go and shout out loudly not sing. hahaha. At least it helps me to relieve my stress. But i feel guilty after that. I am not supposed to go karaoke. I think no next time anymore.

I was trying CURRY RICE in somerset 313. It's nice, but not spicy at all. I wanna try the creamy omelette mushroom next time.

2011-11-09T21:43:00.000+08:00

I miss my best friends.

2011-11-07T22:16:00.004+08:00

Love your parents. We are so busy growing up, we often forget they are also growing up.

I got this quote from Twitter. Yeah! It is damn true. I am so busy with my life, my day, my school, etc. It somehow wake me up. One thing that cross my mind is what i exactly have done for them and i got no answer. hhhh.. Feel so sad. Do you feel the same thing with me? People say, it is no word "late" to "start". So, start from this second, always remember our parents, cherish them, love them. ^o^ Actually, what we have now is all because of our parents. Be grateful that we have them.

Love u, dad, mom and little brother. ^o^

I watch Three Musketeers yesterday. It was great. Really must watch this. RECOMMENDED. =)

Do mistakes, fight, live and love. -D'Artganan's Father-

Gabriella Wilde is so beautiful. woahhh.. Is she a model? She is really pretty, especially the first time she appeared while holding a bucket of flower. ahh.. i just know Three Musketeers are Athos, Aramis and Porthos. haha. poor me. Luckily i watched it yesterday. XD

SIP workshop with Benny Se Toe.

The quote is funny.

Celebrate Halloween @Marche! XD

@Clark Quay

quiz

2011-11-05T21:11:00.000+08:00

I just now try "what's your type?". I found this thing on twitter. click here. check out yours.
here my results.

The Intellectual

You want a man with ambition and goals and the smarts to execute them. The ability to hold a conversation and form opinions is important to you. Whether he’s naturally book smart or simply works hard to get where he wants to be, a man who can teach you something new is incredibly sexy.

hahaha. It is quite true. Give it a try. =)

i got so many things to do recently, but i don't know which one to do first. And the result, i haven't done anything yet. >.< James Kwan gave so many homeworks and assignments. I really clueless what to write. aiyo. die. Hope inspiration comes to me as soon as possible.

November

2011-11-02T00:05:00.000+08:00

Another month has came. It is so fast. Just less than 2 months, it is going to be a new year again. hoahhh.. i feel like i wasted my 10 months without doing anything important. anw, it is not the point why i am log in into my blog. My clock shows 11.49 pm, it is still 1 November 2011. I am still awake and stay up till this time not because the same reason like few years ago, it is simply because i have homework. This year on November will be different from last few years of course. I got nothing to wait anymore because i promise myself something last year. It was an important promise. =) anw, i still send my wish to u whose birthday on 2 Nov. Happy birthday to all of you guys. Have a blast and always protected by Tri Ratna. Sadhu.. ^^

Dad, Mom, i know you guys really hate my weakness. Forgive me because of my weakness that you guys also called my stupidity.

little cousin

2011-10-28T20:47:00.003+08:00

I just realise i have never share about my little cousin, Felicia Savani. Actually, every holiday in Sibolga, i spent half of my day with her. Her home is just beside my grandparents' home so that i always meet her. She is 1 year 7 months. She eat and play with me and my kakak, even sometimes she fell asleep in my grandparents' home too. She is so cute, pretty and kepo. =) I really love her. Without her, my holiday in Sibolga will be so boring. Fortunately, i have her. When i left Sibolga 1 month ago, she still can speak a few words, but now, she can speak a lot of words. haha. I am quite surprised actually. She is a great little girl. She learned how to stand and walk by herself because her parents are so busy all the time. Great right? I miss her so much. Sometimes when she came to my home, my dad will call me and ask me to talk to her. I am very happy each time she talk to me. I miss u, Lili. Miss u miss u. ^*^ chuu.. <3

IN TIME

2011-10-27T22:53:00.000+08:00

Another recommendation to watch!! =)

Amanda Seyfried is very beautiful and Justin Timberlake is handsome. <3

Still have a lot movies to watch!! I am going to watch Three Musketeers too. Woah, i have a lot of plan to do but okay, i spent so much money this month. *bokek!! need subsidy! haha.

2011-10-23T20:29:00.000+08:00

People may think i am crazy, but seriously i need to diet. I gain weight again since last month i arrived here. Maybe people around me can not see it, but if you notice and realize, u will find that i am actually quite fat than before. I am seriously need to diet. Anyone can share me how to diet? I am easily get hungry, especially when i got nothing to do after lecture. =( I got something special to do in next 2 months. Please anyone, help me to have a success diet in less than 2 months. I do not know whether i can loss weight in this short period. I wish i can!

2011-10-21T23:15:00.001+08:00

Hello!!!

I have been here for a month. Time really flies! wow. Last Sunday, i went with my new friends to Yishun for celebrating Kathina Day. Kathina day is a day where we can donate anything to the monk. I am very happy. It was the first time i celebrated Kathina day in SG. haha. After that, we went to Tzu Chi. Because it was my first time went there, so i do not know how to explain it. If u want to know it u may check it here. It is a nice,warm, and comfortable. Two thumbs up for the services. From here, i learn that Everything must come from our self first and thing comes for a reason. From that day, i really enjoy my day though sometimes i feel so boring. hehe. People change so fast. haha. anw, this sentence is not created by me. It is my lecturer's , James Kwan, sentence. He is a killer lecturer this year. If we do not do assignment and can not answer his question, be ready to get scold. so scary. >.<" I hope everything is going well.

oh ya, if anyone interested to go to Tzu Chi, it is on Pasir Ris. I know it is very far but it is worth to go there. Believe me!! =) U will not regret.

2011-10-15T22:08:00.000+08:00

I am not in good mood since last Tuesday. On that day, i found my lecture notes moved to another place and it was so messed. I never treat my lecture notes so bad. sigh. Troubles come again and again. It never stop till now. People judge me as they like without know the truth. Some people was misunderstanding me but i am still keep silent till now. Maybe it is my "bad" habit to let them misunderstanding over me. I do not care. Just let people judge me whatever they like. My parents say i am so stupid, silly to let other people judge and misunderstanding me. But really this is me. If you were me, what will u do? Will u stay silent like what i did? or Will u explain to that people? hhhh. Troubles, please stop come towards me. I am really super tired. I want to cry, shout as loud as possible. I learn to be more more and more patient to face this. Please problems, stop there. Let me breath freely and sleep soundly.

Real Steel

2011-10-07T22:47:00.000+08:00

ATOM

RECOMMENDED!!

I just watched this movie. The title is REAL STEEL. Two thumbs up!! I cried in the middle of the movie. This movie tells about robots have replaced human in boxing. Charlie (Hugh Jackman) and her son called Max (Dakota Goyo) found a robot that called ATOM. This robot is buried one. Because Max could see there is something special in ATOM, he asked his father to teach boxing to atom. Atom could see and follow every movements from Charlie and Max. Watch it and find out how they compete to other robots especially Zeus. I like this movie! =)

anw, Jessica and me had lunch at Hot Tomato. The waiter is so funny. He said ''if u were rich, u may order this menu (pointed at the menu)''. lol. so funny.

='(

2011-10-06T21:53:00.001+08:00

For the first time in my life, i lose my earrings. I was shocked. It seems it fell down to the bathroom sink when i washed my face. I was trying to calm down and looked for it, but i could not find it anywhere. I am sad, really sad. I have never lose my earrings before. I was crying. sigh. I do not know what the meaning behind this. I hope it does not mean something bad. When i sacrifice something, it does not mean i lose everything, right?

I am confused whether to decide on friday or saturday. hmm..

2011-10-05T21:20:00.003+08:00

It's already 2 weeks since the first class started. I am not in mood of studying. I really do not know what i had learn in these 2 weeks. I even could not mention something related with those subjects. What exactly are they?? I just knew that i have 4 subjects to go in my last year, they are Financial Reporting (FR), Management Accounting (MA), Auditing and Assurance, and Management Science Method (MSM). These 4 subjects are going to kill me soon or later. They were hard and difficult, double than i had in my second year. I should know time flies. Time does not care whether we are ready to face it or not. Time never stop, never wait for us. But i am lazy to start everything again. >.< I need the used to me. Could anyone do me a favor? SLAP ME please till i wake up and realise it is time to stop play around and start study. No matter how hard it is, i must pass my last year. Everyone seems have expectation on exam result, so do i. But once again, i just want to pass. People said it is not difficult to get just 34, but why for me 34 is really hard to achieve. hhh.

I do envy some of my friends. They did not need to put much effort like what i did in exam and they did well in exam. Compare to me, i put effort to face my exam, but i still did not perform my best in exam. haiz. But fortunately, i pass all subjects. Thanks to GOD. Maybe i should learn how to appreciate what i have.

I am not in mood lately. It changes all the time. I am tired to face myself. I do not know what exactly i want to do. haiz. Motivate me!! I wish i could find myself as soon as possible.

anw, last Monday i watch Dolphin Tale. It is quite motivate me. FAMILY IS FOREVER, this is what i get from that movie. Find ur time and watch it. =) Here u are the photo of that dolphin. Her name is winter. U may check it out on www.seewinter.com. Take a look closely on her tail. It is a supporting tail that made to help her to survive.

decide

2011-10-01T16:48:00.000+08:00

We decide because we have many choices or options. Okay, I am the one who is difficult in making decision. Making decision is challenge for me. Decisions that i choose are part of my life. I do not have any idea why just decide on something is very difficult, really difficult. Is it because i consider too many things? Or i just do not know what the best for my life? or what? Just take an example, i took hours in deciding my shirt size. Because it uses UK size then it confused me. I have tried the shirt for few times, but i did not know whether to choose size 8 or 10. I am silly, aren't i? We called it silly or stupid?? haiz. I make my life from complicated to very complicated. Each time i need to decide on something, it will be very exhausted because my brain always ask "what if" questions. Why i have such personality huh? I know all of my friends are tired to face my personality, but thanks to you guys still stand beside me till now. hhhh.. That's why i hate to decide, but LIFE need to decide!

beginning of 3rd year

2011-09-22T22:15:00.002+08:00

As usual, i have gone back to SG since last sunday. hhhh. Lazy~~ beside that, there was no internet connection at my place. sigh. Living here become so boring! Really boring to the max. what should i do then?? haiz. Now i am stealing other people's wifi, but still can not open google and facebook. sighhh..!!! >.<
But fortunately, Mikael, the little baby in my home always accompany me. haha. I become his second babysitter. lol! He is just 4 months old. I love him. hahaha. =)
Class starts today. I have another 4 subjects, Financial Reporting, Audit and Assurance, Management Accounting, and Management Science Method, to go this year. as u know, this is my last year, my last chance to make one of my dreams come true. yeah i know it is quite impossible, but i still want to try. At least, i won't repeat the same habit like what i did in second year. Rushing in last minute sure makes me die faster. Today's lecturer told us to not give up easily. It motivates me today, but do not know tomorrow. haha. Pray for me guys, wish me luck for my 3rd year, the last fight to get my degree!

September means what?

2011-09-09T20:08:00.002+08:00

Nothing much to say. September comes so fast. I even do not feel i already spent my 3 months holiday in my hometown. Just left a week before go back. hmm.. Actually 3 months is a long holiday, but i feel like i was just free from the UOL exam and now must go back to school again. hhhh..

Troubles are coming day by day. I am lately tired to face them. I hate troubles! why do you love me so much? haiz. I am not the one who can solved it by my own. But since this month i am forced to solve it by my own. Okay. I put effort to solve it. troubles are like exam for me, life exam. Although i have solved some, but there are still some more left. I am gonna leave it there. Do not want to think about them anymore, but may I? I used to leave my problem behind. Now i realize i have a lot a lot unsolved problems. congratz for me huh. haiz. Now what can i do to help my life? Everything seems complicated right now. Every single step i did was wrong. hhh.. tired to face my life, but this is called life. wake me up!! which way should i choose and walk on that path?

Thanks GOD! ^o^

2011-08-25T21:20:00.000+08:00

Yesterday 23 August 2011. My exam result released. I entered my candidate number, UOL number and birth date, then praying and tada~~ the results was out. It stated 4 alphabets there, that was PASS! yeah, I pass that 4 subjects. I am really thank God for letting me pass my second year. I never thought i will get such results too. Really thank to GOD. I hope I will pass my exam for year 3 too. I just hope for a word "PASS" for all subjects. Next year will be my last year. No matter how hard it is, i must do my best and must PASS!! Pray for me guys. wish me luck for my yr 3.

again, thanks God for give me this results. ^o^

2011-08-12T19:29:00.001+08:00

hm.. It is only a month left. Holiday will over soon. I am lazy to go back. hhh. anw, my exam result will be release on 23rd August. I am really nervous, afraid to wait till that day is coming. I realize my exam performance last time was not the best one. I did many mistakes. But i really hope to pass it. Sadhu3x.
here i am praying to God, i hope God may help the one i love. I am sad see him sick, fall down in front of my eyes. I am not a doctor. what can i do now is just praying and support him. >.<

another part of my life.
People may judge i am rude. But please do EHIPASSIKO before judge me like that. Honestly speaking, I do hate her. She destroys my life. then if i don't respect her, am i rude?? In my brain, i am not. I just do something to maintain my happiness. I know she is older than me, but it does not mean she can destroy my life, take away my happiness. Although at the end, everybody blame me, but for sure i won't ask for her apologize. For u who are trying to destroy my life, i hate u. I believe karma is exist, soon or later, in this life or next life, u will feel what i feel.

solution

2011-07-30T17:33:00.000+08:00

I took some actions to solve that problem. If by doing this everybody say i am wrong, then i do not want to be right. Here i am with my own way to solve it. The only now i can do to safe everyone is by doing that. I learn how to be strong and strong than before, not only physic but also mental. I do not care they said i am rude. It is me with all my ability to solve it. To them that hurt me, I believe karma is exist. Let's wait and see. Practice Ehipassiko to know the truth. I am not angry when i type this, i am just disappointed to someone who create this problem as a secret.

reaction..

2011-07-30T17:25:00.000+08:00

I know a big secret. As its name, "secret", i must keep it well from other people. I am not allowed to tell, share, and announce anyone about it. But this big secret is actually a big problem in my life. I do not know what should i do to solve this problem. This problem is killing me softly. how should i react to this secret which is also a problem for me? I usually share my unsolved problem with my friend, but now, i can not share it to anyone. then what should i do? Must i keep it in my heart and brain which is killing me? It will affect my life soon or later. I am really afraid to face this. arghhh.. please God, tell me what should i do to? Lead me to the best way to solve this problem. Sadhu.. Guys, if u were me, what will you do?

misunderstanding

2011-07-11T23:55:00.000+08:00

I am still on school summer holiday. I had hair cut yesterday. It is not short at all. I love my new hair cut. =) yesterday, i had a little debate with my parents. After thinking about it in 4 hours, i think they are quite true and again i make a big mistake. I never thought that misunderstanding can make my life are getting worse day by day. Honestly speaking, if someone misunderstand about me, i never tell them the truth. Because for me, if i tell them the truth, will they believe me or they will just simply think that i make thousands of reasons to make myself clear and innocence in their eyes. I am quite lazy and i want them to find the truth. That's why i always let people misunderstand about me. Again, according to my parents, it is a big mistake, a wrong perception. When someone already misunderstand towards me, next time whatever i do will always wrong. When someone blame me for something that i did not do, i did only stay quite and did not try to explain that it was not me, i did not do that. I want to explain and tell the truth, but will he/she believe me? It is useless to explain if no one believe me. This is a wrong perception according to my parents. They told me, it is better not let people misunderstand towards us.How about you? I am still on my way to find the answer.

first UOL holiday

2011-06-23T19:02:00.000+08:00

yihaaaa!!!!
finally, after almost a month i can log in again to my blog. =)
how are u, guys??
Like i said on my last post, i had finished my second year exam and now it's time to refreshing. hoho. I have a happy holiday everyday although i only spend it in my hometown where there are no malls, no cinemas here. I really enjoy my holiday, can eat delicious foods everyday. haha. ya ya ya, i know i need to diet, but i can not stop to eat spicy foods, fresh seafood, and especially my mom's cooking that i can not find in Singapore. But lately my hometown got some troubles such as no electricity, no water and sometimes earthquake happened. Till now, the earthquake has happened about 4 or 5 times. hhh.. It is difficult to do activity without electricity and no water to take a bath. Fortunately, we have sufficient water stock. Oh ya, last Friday was my grandfather's birthday. I still want to say it once again "Happy Birthday Ye Ye.." wish u always healthy and happy everyday. =)

Anyway, I am quite anxious waiting for my exam result that will be out on September. Pray for me guys..!! =)

holiday

2011-05-26T00:36:00.000+08:00

yo ha.. I had happy holiday for these 4 days since my brother come. This is his first trip to Singapore. We went to many places, eat many food, and took many photos. haha. We also went to USS and play all attraction. The roller coaster in sci-fi city is great. Give it a try if u come here, especially the blue one. For me, it is the best roller coaster in the USS. Anyway, I will at Medan in the next 9 hours. I am not excited to go back, still want to play here. but I miss Indonesian food so much especially all spicy food that i can not find in Singapore. My plan after i reach Indonesia is to hunter every spicy food and the seafood in my hometown. haha. All inside my brain are only food. lol!! Although i want to do diet, but i really want to have them once before diet. haha. XD

Anw, i have not finished packing all of my stuff yet. haiz. There are so many things need to pack. haiz. I like to go back, but i do not like the packing part. sigh.

I will seldom log into my blog, since i will stay in Medan for quite a long time. I do not know how long it is, but i want to go back asap to Sibolga. I miss my parents so much. yah yah. got no much time already. need to packing now. I will log in soon. =)

2nd yr war

2011-05-22T10:54:00.004+08:00

Honestly speaking, all my papers are RUBBISH. For me, some of them were unexpected one. There was no clue given by the examiner that force us to study the whole chapters without any exemption. The only words my lecturer told us was "they can test u anything, even it is not in your lecture and subject guide". It simply means we were asking to read all books related to each subject.

No one to blame except myself. I was overestimated myself. I thought with all my effort for a year by doing every homework, tutorial, and assignment will enough to do well for exam, but the fact, they were not. I did poorly, very poor. This is the first time, i am very hopeless, desperate, no confident at all and i was blank when i faced the exam questions. I did not know what should i wrote in my answer booklet. hhh.. I did study for my exam, but why i still could not do well for my exam?? Does the problem arise from myself or the noise that always disturb my concentrate or the papers itself?? anw, just skip this part since it is just about exam part.

I want to share how hard i try to do well in my exam. I had 3 and half months study break including prelim and exam. After prelim finished, I had UOL and Local revision. Overall I had about 3 weeks self study. Because i was desperate after prelim, i organised all my schedule for facing the real exam because like what i told u before, i was in disadvantage position. I got 1 paper on Monday (PBF) and 2 on Wednesday (CF and POA). It means i only have 1 day to revise 2 subjects. Let's begin with Banking and Finance (PBF) first. I had 8 chapters including 5 for banking and the rest for finance. Since i memorized some chapters before, i just need to refresh my memory to make sure that i really know it. Because i am not good in memorising, i drop one chapter related to banking history. For 3 days, i forced my brain to absorb everything from understanding till memorising whole part. Because of this, there was one night my brain could not work. *that's why u see my post so desperate. but i really desperate. >.< Fortunately, on the 3rd day, i could memorise all the 5 chapters and the last day before exam, i study finance things since they were repetition. For me, this is my best effort for banking and finance. But the paper was really make me down. The first 15 mins, I only stared the exam paper, without write anything. omg. I too anxious because i could not decide which questions should i choose and because of this I forgot everything that i had memorise. sigh. the finance was unexpected one. They were different from all papers. sigh. I choose 3 questions from finance section. It seems i will loss 25 marks from them because I was careless. haiz.

On the evening, I was trying to comfort myself that i will be ok, trying to forget everything about PBF exam. My mom told me, forget it, it's better u focus on ur coming exam. But i do not know why, at that time, my brain could not work. haiz. Because i force my brain to absorb PBF, i forgot a lot of things that i had study for weeks about Corporate Finance (CF). I gave up all accounting theory, since i knew i did not have much time. I studied from the very beginning about CF after prelim, because this subject is really blur for me. I did not understand them well. They were calculation and theory too. sigh. During the break time, i gave my best to understand this and that part. The tutorial given from the lecturers, since i join 2 classes for CF, were not difficult compare to exam papers. Maybe because the tutorials are about the first concept to understand. On revision time, my lecturer taught us how to answer but it seems it was not enough for me. Fortunately, my lecturer want to give us additional class. One day before CF exam, i did not sleep because i was catching to do all papers and memorising all theory part. I put effort on this subject to signal the examiner that i want to pass. But on the exam day, tada... the paper again was different structure from all past year papers. I was really surprised. I took 3 questions on theory and 1 question on calculation. There was 1 question on calculation that i can exactly do the half part on it, and it was only 10 marks. I was very sure i can get the 10 marks, but i did not how to do the 15 marks questions, since 1 questions has 25 marks. Then i gave up on that question and took another. I think i was so stupid not to take that questions. At least i can get 10 marks for sure already. sigh. but i wasted it. REGRET!!!

After CF exam, i still had POA exam on the afternoon. The break was only 1.5 hours. Like i said, i did not study too much about POA because my overanxious on CF rather than POA. Because i did not prepare for POA and did not sleep as well, when i opened the POA paper, i did not know what, how to do. sigh. I was blank. I could not find any memory about POA in my brain. arghhh... I cried after the exam because i could not do it. arghhh.. so sad. I do not want to talk about it anymore, it breaks my heart. T.T

After that i had 4 days before my last exam. Stupid me. I got headache at that time and not study for 2 days. The last 2 days, i was rushing again to catch everything. I thought i can do the last papers well, but again I was not. sigh. what exactly my brain doing at that time?? The problem is on me or the exam papers itself?? I gave my best, put my best effort, did not sleep well for 3.5 months for prepare my exam. but why i still can not do well? I do not have confidence on all papers.

I am afraid to face my exam result. It will come out on September. Now I have my summer holiday, so forget the exam. I am tired to think about them already. I need GOD to help me to pass my exam.

Anw, I am enjoying every second right now. Feel so free, can wake up without worry, panic and anxious. Hope u will be the same. Happy holiday for UOL student!! =)

freeee...

2011-05-16T22:53:00.004+08:00

no notes, no books, only laptop in my desk. =)

finally... it's over already.. i can BREATH now. i can sleep without worry, no need to think how my exam will be, to recall what i study for a year, to find solution when the time not enough to cover everything, to do every exercise for all subjects and memorize everything in books and notes, etc. not enough space to explain them. hehe. no need to think such things anymore. ya at least for few weeks, because my result will be out around august or september. but but but, THEY ARE OVER. I know i did not do my exam well. I am not going to think about them now, maybe next 3 or 4 weeks?? hehe. I just want to rest, give my body and mind a fully refreshing till i get my power. haha. yah, one more. I SERIOUSLY NEED TO DIET!! i can not wear my clothes and jeans anymore and my face is so so so round. omg. i realize i eat more during exam break because the pressure is really big. I ate too much and did not make any movement. All i did only study at my desk. I even did not step out from my bed room unless went to bathroom and dining room. lol.

Holiday started at 1.30 p.m this afternoon, one step after i step my legs out from the exam hall. yeah, the exam hall is damn big. It is about 1500++ students took exam each subject. wow. I start packing already. I will go back soon. yihaaa... my brother will come soon, we are going to have fun for some days. horayyy.. holiday, i am coming.

HAPPY VESAKH DAY...!! ^o^

be good, be happy, be mindful..

i will post how hopeless i am, later. =)

God, u are the only one know how hard i study and my effort for my exams. I know there are people who study more harder than me. But God, for this time, I really need your help. I am hopeless, please help me, God, to PASS my exam. I just want to pass my exam now. I do have expectations, but my performance in exam could not afford it. so God, please please help me. I need your help.

2011-05-06T21:23:00.004+08:00

hi. here i am. stress to the max. i am not ready to face my exam on this monday. i haven't covered everything yet. now, my brain wanna explode already. i even can't remember what i have studied for this few months. i am desperate, hopeless, afraid as well. what should i do now? only left 2 days before the exam. 真的不知道要怎样。想要哭了。我真的放弃了。我快要疯了。老天爷，我求求你，请您帮帮我吧。我希望我可以得到好成绩，但现在我看我没有那个力量。我该要这么办呢？爸，妈，我真的对不起你们。请你们原谅我。我让你们失望了。*掉眼泪。我真的不值得做你们的孩子。真的对不起，爸，妈。T.T

2 weeks more

2011-04-20T22:43:00.005+08:00

hei there. how r u??

As usual, i was struggling with my books, notes, and papers these few weeks. My desk was full of them since few months ago. Sigh. Now i only have 2 weeks to catch everything. I know what i have studied these few weeks are not enough because i have not covered all the chapters for all subjects yet. But i really hope they at least can help me to answer every single question in my real exam. Maybe i must warn and remind myself that two weeks from now, i will face a REAL EXAM, it is not a prelim. The examiner will become more strictly and more stingy to give even 1 mark. I forget to tell you how stingy the UK examiner are. sigh. I and my friends are victims of their stinginess. We wrote about more than 2 pages to answer 1 question and we only get 8 of 12 marks and another questions for 13 marks, we wrote about 1 page, some got 1 and some got ZERO. sigh. u can justify by yourself how strict and stingy they are. >.<" I do not have any idea what exactly they expect from us.

I study nothing today due to some reasons. haha. Today is Pei's bday. I am off from my study to surprise and celebrate her birthday. And we were success. hehe. okay, I actually still have few hours at evening to study, but as human i always find reasons not to blame myself. LOL! and my special reason today is i am so tired already. haha. I actually spent 1 hour to watch the Taiwan drama "AI" which is now on episode 685, another hours talked to Mira which is the first record we made, and another hours chat with some my high school friends because he needs my help before i logged in into my blog. See!! I am sure die today. hikz. eh, i realise i write 6 lines only for my reasons here, but why i can not do the same in my exam. swt. how i wish i can do the same thing in my exam. >.<

I am going to sleep now. It was a tiring day for me. Maybe after exam i will organise and manage my messy posts. sorry for the inconvenience. =) My grammar error for this post will be double, please ignore them. hehe.

I need to loss my weight!! but how to do diet??

UK revision

2011-04-04T23:49:00.005+08:00

hello!!

It's APRIL!! I am not excited to welcome this month. Like i said on my past posts, my exam is on MAY. It is only 1 month left. I am really not ready to face my exam. U know right, how thick the whole one year materials and I need to cover them all up. haiz. UOL oh UOL, why the exam only once a year? I am going crazy. For sure, 24 hours a day is not enough for me. Don't u think so?? I have UK revision for these 2 weeks, started last week. okay, I like their English ascent although it is a bit strange. As i found out, my UK lectures' mother language is not English, so maybe it is the reason why their English a little bit weird. But it is not a big deal. I love it at all. Anw, one of my UK lectures are quite handsome. haha. There was a shocked news last Monday. sigh, when i heard this, i did not know how to respond it. It seemed all of my effort for 6 months was nothing. *speechless*

I dream about it again but yesterday's dream was different. I do not know what they meaning are. It is better not to know it. Moreover, the dream will become reality soon and it has nothing to do with me.

God, please help me again. pleaseee..
last time, i dream about my exam results, i do not know it will become reality or reverse. I am afraid if it is reverse, but i actually expect more than what i get on my dream. God, please help me.

motivate me!!

2011-03-26T23:47:00.006+08:00

I really do not have any idea about what is going on to me lately. I have not started my revision yet. I do not know why i am become lazier than before. sigh. I am sure die this time. I need to fill my brain with the exam's stuffs, but i do not know how. Everytime I feel want to start it, there are so many barriers and the most difficult barriers to overcome is my laptop. haiz. I need motivation so i can start my revision asap. I think i am in danger situation, where i only have 6 weeks to cover 4 subjects and u know i must cover "the whole one year stuff". sigh. Ta men hen duo, zhen de. I can not recall what i had studied for my revision. >.< *why am i so short memory?* Now, i really want to start them, but my brain always say "start it tomorrow". haiz.

I got a dream few days ago. I do not know, i should categorize it to "bad" or "good" dream. If it was a good dream, I am afraid the reality will be reverse and i do not what the reverse thing happen. T.T

God, please help me.

lovely day..

2011-03-20T22:29:00.005+08:00

Happy Birthday to My lovely Grandma..

wish u always healthy, happy, and all the best thing always be with you.

Love u, ama. muach.. I miss u so much. I will go back soon after exam, so we can chit chat everyday. ^^

生日快乐, ama.. ^^

mix become one.. =)

2011-03-19T01:42:00.009+08:00

helloooo!!

It has been more than a week since my last prelim. Now I only have less than 2 months before my REAL EXAM!! haiz. I have not start my revision again. T.T I am still enjoy my life after prelim. haha. I am supposed to study hard since i am not clever enough, but i do not. haiz. Would u do a favor for me? May u knock my head till i wake up and start my revision? Someone please motivate me to study. hikz.

I watched Secret Garden as i said in my last post. Okay, it is another good drama and it is KOREA!! Another suggestions for u to watch this. My first comment to this drama is the actor is handsome but too thin. haha. Try this one.. =)

I was struggling with so many things lately. I was searching, looking for, thinking, considering, learning for something. But finally it ended with confusing. I still can not able to make a decision. I still need to gather some information about it. I will tell u what this "thing" refers to after i make my decision. =) One thing for sure, I do not want to make wrong decision again that may affect my entire life. I hope i can make a good decision this time, at least for once.

oh ya, Good luck for my brother for your national examination on Monday.. Fighting dek!! U can do it!!

Cc pray all the best for u. Remember, u told me that we're fighting together. hehe. ^^ *Good luck for me too*

I miss my parents and my brother so much lately.

it's over..

2011-03-09T22:02:00.010+08:00

hii all!! how r u??

Today is my last prelim paper. Finally, it is done. fiuh. And for 3 weeks, i did not go out even one step from the house door. And in these 3 weeks, i was struggling with all books, yeah, i just saw them, opened but did not study. haha. but the most important, i did stared at them. haha. I could not do well for all subjects. Especially for today's subject, omg, i even could not answer even one question, the worst paper in my prelim. =( I admit i did not study for today's prelim, because my brain can not work yesterday already. My brain has reached the max capacity. >.< style="font-size:100%;">regret to choose UOL. really difficult. no wonder every person asked me whether i am sure to take UOL or not, now i know why they asked me. poor me. ahh, because of this prelim exam, I got so many pimples and i gain weight again. haiz. T.T so sad. how come exam can gain my weight.

oh ya, i deleted the last post, i change it to this one. It was so messy. haha. After finish the paper today, my friends asked me to go out. then we went to orchard. We ate at "ayam penyet" because i really miss the taste of chili and it was super hot but delicious. haha. We watched ''I am Number 4" after ate. I recommend u to watch this movie. It is a good one, so nice. The boy is very handsome. He is Alex Pettyfer, the main actor. He crush with Diana Agron, his real girlfiend, who also the main actress. But just now, i read the news, they just broke up. haiz. As their fans, i do not want they broke up. I think they are a perfect couple, a handsome boy with a beautiful girl. check it out how they are look like. hehe. I also recommend "LOVE BUFFET". It is a funny drama. Aaron and Calvin are the main actors. They are so handsome. I am melting whenever i watched every single episode. haha. If u have time or need drama to watch for refreshing, i suggest u to watch this one. =) I am going to watch SECRET GARDEN. My friends suggested me to watch this. Alex pettyfer and Diana Agron

sorry.

2011-03-02T14:44:00.006+08:00

I am sad, very sad. i am mad at myself. why i do not study more harder. I CAN NOT DO MY PRELIM. i am not sure i can pass as well. T.T really sad. *crying* I did study for my prelim but i know others studied harder than me. But why i can not answer even any single questions correctly. I also did many stupid errors in my calculation. I hate myself. I do not know what should i do now. If i can not answer even any single questions in my exam, then no use i continue to study. I made wrong decision at the first time by choosing SG to continue my study. Now i reach the level where i am not able to continue walk on my decision anymore. I really give up. Sorry for all people who support me from the beginning, especially my parents. Sorry dad, mom. i can't make it. sorry to my god-grandparents that always support me. SORRY..!! T.T

despo..

2011-02-24T16:30:00.005+08:00

i just started my revision today. And i can not do anything. I opened Managerial Economics first, but i was stuck. then i changed it to accounting. and then, i can not balance every questions. hiks. now i am afraid. I am afraid i can not do my prelim exam well. hikz. what should i do?? feel regret why i do not study last week. now i only can pray. I hope GOD will help me again. T.T I am desperate right now.

i miss my best friend badly. he'll usually be here to support me. but now, he is disappear. >.<

hijack..

2011-02-22T18:39:00.007+08:00

This is first time i can not sign in to my yahoo account and facebook. It seems someone hack my account. sigh. fortunately, my roommate helped me to get it back. Thanks to my roommate. ^^ but until now, i still can not open my facebook because it needs 24 hours to recover. haiz. Maybe this is a sign that ask me to study for my prelim exam. haha.
anw, my prelim will start next Monday and i have not touched it yet. die la. these few days i was still busy with my Taiwan dramas. What am i supposed to do now?? It only 4 days left and it is not enough to cover everything. haiz. I know i must be afraid to face my prelim, but why till now i do not have such feeling? weird.. >.< I'd better study now. Pray for me, guys. =)

special day..

2011-02-15T01:13:00.008+08:00

Do u know what date is it??
It is 15 February..!! A very special day for me..
It is My Birthday.. =)

Happy Birthday to me..!!
zhu wo Sheng ri kuai le..!!

I am getting older again. Another one year had passed. Just know i made wishes. I hope God will make my wishes come true. anw, I know it is quite late to say it but i still want to say Happy Valentine.. =) so, how was your valentine?? I spent my valentine day with my friends. They helped me to celebrate my birthday on v-day. My birthday is today but since today all of us have no class so none of us will go to school. hehe. Just regard this is my birthday presents to u guys. hehe. Anw, thank u to mummy club members for celebrate my birthday. ^o^ I actually knew that u guys will give me surprise. haha. how come i know?? It was because u guys acted so weird. Mira kept looking to her cellphone, Linda suddenly borrowed my notes, and I saw pei and ipon in atrium. Pei and ipon were supposed to have class on evening, but they came earlier. And my guess was right because i saw pei hold something. haha. but, still want to thank u guys. love ya.. ^o^ so, here u are some pictures that we took on my birthday celebration. thank you guys. I love the chocolate cake, love everything. =) oh ya, this is my new hair.. what do u think? Does it suits me?? haha.

mix

2011-02-12T22:27:00.008+08:00

haiz.. I HAVE NOT STUDIED YET.
I thought i will study after i posted last post. hikz. But i actually cancel it with many reasons that came out from my head. haizzzz... die la. Prelim exam is in front of my eyes and i have not prepared anything yet. Why my laziness become more badly than before huh? no one will help me. hikz. T.T

some questions that always struggling in my head.
am i good enough as your friend??
why when i told lie, people believe. but when i told the truth, people do not believe. Am i supposed to tell lie?? haiz. so so so weird.
when i ask her opinion, she said i only make friend with u because i only want to take benefit from her. Am i so bad?? I even never thought to take benefit from my friends. Her words hurt me bagh. >.<>

just know i watched drama. see.. I spent my time to watch drama. what a bad habit!!! i got quote from the drama. It was in Mandarin, but i change it become English. hehe. I hope my grammar is correct.

''Sometimes, we must let go our own happiness for others' happiness'' -yunduojie-

Maybe it is true, but one thing for sure, it is hard to do. When i myself face this situation, i became a selfish person. A person who did not want to know others' feelings, just focused on my own happiness. I sometimes think, why must we give up our happiness and give it to others? Some answered me, because God arrange other things and give us more than it, a lot better than it. Some also said, because when we see others' happiness, we feel more happy than the happiness we must be get.

back..

2011-02-08T18:55:00.009+08:00

yeah. here i am. I have reached Singapore last Sunday. My class has begun yesterday. I feel lazy to study. haiz. still want holiday. I have not eaten all Sibolga's food. >.< I am craving for bakso and misop now. But i also do not want to stay in my hometown longer than it for now. It does not mean i do not want to gather with my family. have my own reason. =)
Prelim examination's timetable has been out. My prelim exam will start this month on 28. To be honest, i have not studied yet. My brain is blank right now. I know nothing. >.< so that, i need my own time to catch everything, whole things start from the very beginning. After today, i think i will rarely open and update my blog. There are too many things i need to catch. Pray for me guys.. I do not want to fail any single subject. Fighting!!!

I do not have spare time right now, i will upload my photo with short hair later~~ =)

CNY 2562

2011-02-03T18:12:00.003+08:00

Hi everyone...
I am at sibolga since last saturday. As my plan, i cut my hair when i arrived at Medan. hmm.. honestly, i do not like my hair style now. but no choice, she cut my hair wrongly. haiz. It's beyond my expectation, far far away. A little bit regret after i cut my nice long hair. In this next 4 months i hope my hair can grow faster, so i can get my long hair back. haha.
anw,

HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR!!!

Gong xi gong xi.. ^o^
for the married couple, give me hong bao. hehe.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MYSELF too!! XD

How's ur day?? Mine was good. The guest are double this year. My grandparents' house became very very crowded. Fortunately they came one by one. fiuh. tired but happy. I got hong bao from them. haha. For me, Chinese New Year gather all of my family. All of my family will go back to hometown to celebrate it together. Can gather with my family is my priority reason go back to my hometown, although i was quite lazy to go back. So happy can gather with all of them. can meet my cousins and my nephew. haha. The day after tomorrow, i will go back to Medan and then go back to SG on Sunday. haiz. so lazy. really lazy. It is not enough to spend only 6 days in hometown. sigh. I want my holiday again!!! After tomorrow, i must go back to school again because my exams are waiting for me already. haiz. I got to go now. When i reach SG, i will upload my photo with my new short hair. =) Happy Chinese New Yearrr!! :)

hate it..

2011-01-23T11:52:00.008+08:00

I will go back to my hometown this Friday, but do not know why i am not excited like my friends. I hope time really can run very slowly this time. Is it because i just spend 6 days in my hometown? Or is it because i am afraid to see it? Or is it because i have not studied yet for my prelim exam? or what?? Since i will go back to Indonesia, so i decided to cut my long long hair. But my friends, Inge and Pei told me, the long hair suits me. I am confused. I love my straight long hair. but for me, they are too long already and it is difficult to take care them . So, i decided to cut them a little bit, just hope the one who cut my hair will not cut them too much. =)

Okay, to be honest, i do not like myself recently. I lost myself. I used to talk and laugh a lot but now it reverse. I keep silent a lot and the thing i hate most is my fake smile and laugh. sigh. What exactly happen to me huh? Why i must act like this? Is it really a process to become something new like Linda said? I am not comfortable with myself. I do not want to change. Give me back my past personality. Because of this, my friends looked afraid when they are beside me, and this condition forces me to keep silent deeply. haiz. I feel like i am under big pressure and do not know what it is. sigh. I hate this. I want my used to habit and personality. I do not care if people say i am childish, the most important i want to be comfortable with myself. >.<

*thx for inge for checking my grammar. luv u. haha. =)

what a day..!!

2011-01-19T21:43:00.005+08:00

Yesterday, it seemed i heard my alarm called me to wake up.Then, i took my towel, boiled water, and took out cheese cake for breakfast. Then, i stared at sky. I asked myself, why today's sky is so dark? is it going to rain?? Because i was afraid come late to school, then i took a bath. I checked the water first. It was so cold. I can not bear the cold. Then i went out to sit in living room for a while. I was still wondering why the sky was so dark. I stared on the clock and it surprised me. It was 3.30 am. haiz. I woke up too early, i turned off everything then went back to my bedroom and slept again. haha. Actually, i could not sleep on that day. I found out i got swollen eyes in the morning. @.@
After that, i woke up as usual. After done everything, i was rushed to bus stop, because i was late on Monday. I reached school in 1 hour instead of 40 minutes. Unluckily, yesterday i reached school in 75 minutes.. haiz. more worse than Monday. After i reached class, i was totally blur and did not know what my lecturer was talking about. I tried my best to heard her explanation, but i could not get any point from it. sigh. Actually i do not like this lecturer from the first day of my class. I know she is clever, but she totally does not know how to share her knowledge to us. She just talks, talks, and talks without stop. haiz. so boring la in her class. >.<>

Today, uncle Daniel told something interesting again. He said, There is no good work without effort. I always inspired by his words. I really admire him. He is a good lecturer. Like him so much. I am your fans, uncle... =)

time...

2011-01-15T23:31:00.007+08:00

How i wish time can stop just for a while right now. I need to prepare my mind, body and everything for doing many things. I can not concentrate lately. haiz. Is it because i think too often many uncertain things? I did plan my day lately, but it did not work at all. My day did not go like what i planned. It went opposite. sigh. I need my own time to organize my thought. >.< It is not enough to have just 24 hours a day. Can someone extend the time?? haha. =)

uncertain..

2011-01-11T18:51:00.006+08:00

I got bad news today. My seniors in senior high school passed away this morning. My deepest condolences for families who left by them, keep patient and strong to face this. May they born in happy life after this life. As an Buddhist, we learn about Sabbe Shankara Anicca that there is nothing last forever. Our life in this world is uncertain. We all do not know when our time will come. There are life after this life. I am sorry to hear this news. Be strong!!

if i compare my problem with them, mine is nothing. i should be more stronger than them. if they can face and accept this, there is no reason for me for can not face mine.

I thought i am strong and brave enough when i see it, but...

2011-01-03T15:02:00.005+08:00

Just know i found some interesting photos on facebook. Photo tells us everything, right? I deliberately opened it to measure how strong i am. haha. But, when i saw it, i felt my hands can not move. My eyes glazed glass, fortunately i did not drop any single of tears. If the situation is going on like this, i really do not know, how if i meet them face to face. But now i know, i still need to develop my strength. and for the first time i do not send any single message to greet him a happy new year. Do u think i make a little bit progress?
I got "hong mok" on new year eve. haiz. They are red, swollen, and very itchy. >.< How i wish there is no "disease" in this world. But no disease means no doctor, then all doctors in this world become unemployment. haia. also can not. haha. I wish all doctors can help all patients in this world to recover from all disease they have. Sadhu3x.

TALK TO MYSELF: (just ignore it)
"come on fang. It's new year. I know new year does not mean everything must be new and renew, but this thing really must be new. Begin your new year with smile. Forget your sadness. U got something more important to do rather than think about it. But, beside it, develop your strength. ganbatte!!"

2011

2011-01-01T01:01:00.006+08:00

To: ALL PEOPLE IN THIS WORLD..

HAPPY NEW YEAR 2011!!! ^o^
MAY THIS YEAR WILL BE BETTER THAN LAST YEAR.
MAY THIS YEAR WE CAN REACH OUR GOAL, SUCCESS IN OUR CAREER, EDUCATION, AND LOVE. hehehe.. =)

It's 2011.. Some people said New Year, New Spirit, New Hope, New etc.. too many things need to renew i think. hehe. Talking about hope, i have so many hopes in my mind right now. I hope i can give and do my best in everything i do, i can be aware of everything i do, i can reach my first goal, i can pass my UOL exam on this may 2011, i can do my exam well and get good result, i can give happiness to all people around me especially my parents, i can face the reality from my past in fully, i can keep smile whenever i am bad mood, i can help people whether they need me or not, i can make many new friends, etc etc.. It is still a long long list of hopes in my mind, so it's better i keep inside. What i hope is almost similar with all people in this world. We want the best things happen in our day in this year. So, another hope from me is i hope all people's hopes and mine can come true.. ^o^

AFF Football Cup!!

2010-12-29T21:43:00.011+08:00

I was watching AFF football cup just now. It was final match between Indonesia vs Malaysia. This was the second match for final. The first match has done in Malaysia with score 3 - 0 for Malaysia. woah.. so sad for Indonesia could not win and even make any goal. But Indonesia still has second chance in the second final match that held in Indonesia today. The first half match, the score was 0 -0. Indonesia hold the football almost the time, but they could not make any goal too. The second half match, Malaysia suddenly made one goal. hhhh... so sad le. Indonesia did not have any hope anymore to win. All the players were looked very depressed. But then, for the rest little time, Indonesia made 2 goals. yeah.. although they won in this second final match, does not mean they get the AFF cup because the score will be accumulated from the last match on Malaysia. It means Malaysia win with 4 - 2. hhh.. I am dissapointed with Indonesia. How come they can not win in their own country? For me, it is quite embarrassing. But, it is over already. Everything has done, no one can change the fact. Like Uncle Daniel said, everything happens for reason. Maybe Indonesia can try their best in the next 2 years. Although they can not win today, Indonesia's football players played well today. Moreover, there are still many chances to win in future. For all Indonesia's football players, do not sad. what had happen today, make it as your experience to become better in the future. you guys must learn more, level up your skill, and build your teamwork. There are so many football players in this world that are better than you guys. So wake up!!! Fail does not mean u will fail forever. Learn from what had happened today. Indonesia still support u. I hope Indonesia can win the other match next time. Fighting!!! =) (hehe. i know, no one from them will read this. just for fun. pretend they read. hahaha. piz)

anw, the same here..
not only Indonesia should wake up. Me too.
Exam is getting closer. I hope i can do my best and pass the exam.
God, please help me..!!

Christmas..!!

2010-12-25T01:53:00.010+08:00

It's 25 December 2010.

Merry Christmas to everyone who celebrate it.. =)

hope u have a great Christmas with your family and the one you love.

Yesterday was my first day of holiday. My last class for this year was over on Thursday. feel so free right now. at least i have few days for refreshing my mind. Since this is my first time spending my Christmas and New Year holiday, so i decided to go to Orchard. Orchard was so crowded. When u turned left, u see many people beside u, turned right also the same. huwa.. There was like a sea of people and I looked like swim and sink in it. haha. On 11pm, i went back again to orchard and had xmas eve there (although i am Buddhist actually). I thought there will be parade, but there was nothing. Overall, i enjoyed my day. btw, how's yours??
erm, do u realize something? it is only 6 days left to 2011. I suddenly do not want new year come asap, bcoz i will get older. haha. besides that, my exam will be closer and closer. i am afraid. but no exam means can not graduate. no choice. everyone should face it. I hope i can pass my exam with good result. Sadhu3x.

ugh... i'm getting fatter and fatter. i gain weight again. sigh. why it is so difficult to diet?? i can not wear some clothes and jeans already. sigh.. >.<

STRESS!!

2010-12-17T23:41:00.001+08:00

haiz.. got another PBF test today. This is the third test. For the second test, i really couldn't answer any one of the questions. hiks. i feel so bad. Then I studied yesterday to make up the second test and i thought i will be able to answer the questions today. but i'm wrong. I only can answer 1 out of 4 questions. hikssss.. so bad. from dms till now, i think this is the worst thing i did. I know well myself better than anyone else. I am weak, very weak in memorising. I must put a lot of effort in it. If my friend only need 2 hours to memorize 1 chapter, I need 5 ++ hours to memorize it. see, how bad i am. I can't help myself. what should i do?? if it continue like this and never change, i am not sure my exam will go smoothly. Somehow, i must find my own way to pass this subject and others subjects. so STRESS. I can't think anymore. how bad i am. >.<

I must pass, no matter what.
God, i really need your help.
please help me !!
i want to pass my exam.

Uncle's advice..

2010-12-16T00:12:00.006+08:00

i got so many things to do this week. finally, this week almost over. fiuh.. tired but i am satisfied with all i had done. this week is very busy. got 2 tests + 2 assignments. but it will over this friday. hehe. my class for this year will end next week. i want my holiday soon. my friends will go back next week. only left me, jes, and inge here. I do not know what should i do on holiday, but i want to rest well, sleep as much as i can. haha.
anw, uncle Daniel gave us some encouraging words. I can not remember all. The one i remember is "Learn from Mistake". Uncle Daniel said, it is better u did mistake in the past or do mistake now, so u can learn from it and not try to repeat the same mistake in the future. and yes, i did mistake on the test today. haha. i wrote 8 is bigger than 8.68. haha. how come huh? even elementary student know 8.68 is bigger than 8. but i did mistake. haiz. it reminds me to be careful in the future. I hope i will not do this small mistake in my exam. >.< "All that have happened, happened for reason". This is not the real words he said. i can not remember. but the point is that. All things that already happened in our life, bad or good, all happened for reason. Maybe all things that happened before may lead our life become better.

hmm.. this week i got up late twice. haha. i never got up late before. this is the first time. i was rushing on that 2 days, fortunately i did not miss my attendance. Thanks GOD for waking me up that day. =) It's 12.45 now. I'm going to bed now. I do not want wake up late again. haha. Rushing to prepare myself and needs in the morning make my whole day looked weird and i can not concentrate too. hehe. wish me luck for the rest day on this year. =)

.....

2010-12-07T19:02:00.005+08:00

why everytime i heard about that "news", my tears always falling down??
is it really so sad to know and face it?? next year will come soon, dunno which month, date and day will u choose. hhh..

December

2010-12-02T23:22:00.007+08:00

It's December. I am closer to holiday. yay. But for the first time, i'm not going go back to my hometown. I decided to stay here during Christmas and New Year holiday. hhhh.. I have my own reason, but if u ask me, my answer will be "the ticket is very expensive". haha. this supports my main reason. haha.
Oh ya, New year will come soon. Only 26 days left to 2011. Do u have any plan or goal for next year?? I do have, but i know it is impossible for me to get it. so suan le la. haha.
I think i have a happy beginning of December. Although i feel very tired, but at least i am happy. =) I joined GSIF as volunteer. I met many people and made many friends too. ^o^All people that came for the GSIF workshop were entrepreneurs. They are so great. The younger one is a 14 years old boy. Two thumbs up for him. Yesterday is the first day, they held a GALA DINNER and volunteers can join it too. The food was delicious and the dance performance from O school was so amazing. Impressed me a lot. Tomorrow, GSIF is open for public. Come and visit it on Lassale. =)

I wish i can get some knowledge from them. I remember there were so many painting drew by elementary students. the theme is my future plan. This theme suddenly crossed my mind. Future plan?? yeah, i do have it. But once again, to make it become reality is just a dream for me. For this time, i only want to pass my degree with a good result. I need to change my habit, must study. but as u know, it's very difficult as a student to change it. so lazy to study. haha. Need more motivation. xixixixi.

how r u there? u must be spend ur day with happiness, right?
since that day, i didn't care to u anymore bcoz i know, there is someone replaced me to care u. U do not need mine. I lie to myself that i am not sad when i think bout ur good news. Sorry, i miss u a lot.

HP7

2010-11-28T13:14:00.006+08:00

RECOMMENDED : HARRY POTTER & THE DEATHLY HALLOWS

last monday, i watched this. It's a nice one. It is impressed me always. I love the effect from the movie. From HP1-7, it always makes me feel "wahhh" bcoz of the effect. But i prefer HP1. i watched this several times and have never gotten bored. maybe because the effect and the player are still so cute. haha. =)

another recommendation : It Started with a Kiss.
This one is Taiwan drama. It came out long time ago, but i just watched it. haha. There are 2 season. i just watched the first one. I plan to watch the next one on holiday. This drama is very funny. The boy is super smart and the girl is super stupid. wanna know the story? find out in this drama. hehe. anw, i love Taiwan drama so much. ^o^

random post

2010-11-24T13:16:00.006+08:00

LOVE IS A KIND OF SWEET PAIN. (Shakespeare, Britain)

i got this from my friend's status. talking about love, i agree with that statement. yeah, although i am not an expert in love because mine was fail.
In my opinion, having someone that love us is a very great thing because there will be someone that always there beside us, give protection, care and affection more than what friends give. In relationship, a couple shares everything, happiness and sadness to one another. Caring and protecting the one u love is like an obligation but it is not an obligation after all. it happens spontaneously with or without intention. But when break up come, one side or maybe both side will be hurt. there are many circumstances why this break up come. when this bad thing come, i believe one of them will be sad. i myself can't explain in words why must sad and even cry. this i called pain. but it is a sweet pain maybe because we ever had someone important that gave us best moment in part of life.
i ever read in book, although u have boyfriend or girlfriend that love u most, actually your friend is the one that always there for u. We may be break up with our boyfriend/ girlfriend and at that time, the one that always there beside us, accompany us is a friend. so DO LOVE UR FRIEND TOO..!! hehe.
anyway, i do not know what i am writing now. just ignore this post if u find something wrong with my statement. i am not an expert in love. i just write down my opinion. hahaha.

thx to Mr. Daniel Tan, CF lecture in UOL for reminding me and gave such question this morning. U wake me up. haha. Yes, I am here to study and to achieve good results for all subjects. ^o^ I hope this can keep motivate and give spirit to me to study hard for the rest 2 and half months before the class end. beacuse UOL is a very scary and crazy one. hahaha.XD

die..

2010-11-20T18:59:00.004+08:00

ytd, got test for PBF.. and i couldn't answer one of them. hikz. what i studied didn't come out. so sad. yeah, i only read the main point. but actually i do not understand what the subject is. die la.. i do not know how i can survive for exam on this subject. die die die..!! T.T
if u good at banking and finance or ur friends maybe, teach me please..!! Pleaseeeee..!!! help me!!

wound!!

2010-11-14T00:22:00.007+08:00

There is a wound. A deep wound probably, because it hasn't healed yet till now.
I hope it will not left any scar when it recover someday. But.. how many days, months or even years i must wait for "someday"? I have waited for "someday" for almost a year, but it hasn't come yet. Will "someday" really come towards me and help me?? What if "someday" never come?? I am afraid. I know i must move on and face this reality. but i am clueless. wo mei ban fa..

I won't cry and I am not allowed to cry..!!!

I AM REALLY NOT STRONG ENOUGH TO FACE REALITY.

2010-11-12T21:52:00.005+08:00

I tried to be strong this past few years. Give my best to face it. but still, i still can't face it. am i really so weak?? the past things already made me so down. I knew this news few months ago, but it becomes so real after many people told me. i know they mean good to me. It's better to know earlier, so i can get well and better asap too. but really, i am not strong enough like what people thought. Linda, yes linda, she realised that i hide something. she even know my smile, laugh is not like used to. something happened. but i was still trying to be strong. Maybe trying to be strong is my specialty huh. I stop crying to forget my problem. I stop asking my friends' opinion. I was trying to face it all alone. but who knows. i am very weak. i hate myself. crying is the only option i have right now. but it doesn't heal anything. it doesn't heal my sadness. time also doesn't help me to heal it. dunno what should i do to stand properly right now. I fell down more deeply than before. T.T

moody..

2010-11-11T14:10:00.002+08:00

I am not in very good mood lately. my mood changes every minute. there is something stuck in my brain and heart. I want to speak it out but i do not know what it is. sigh. I almost ruined my day. maybe because i did not sleep enough, huh?? so if i did something bad to u, i am sorry. i never have intention to do that. *wo bu shi gu yi de*btw, today is my friend birthday. actually she is not usual friend for me, but a BEST FRIEND. She is Irena. Usually i call her Cai yan. She is in Beijing now. Both of us love GREEN. hehe. I do not remember the process she become my friend and become my best friend too. I usually share everything with her, especially my secrets. haha. She can understand me well. thank you yen.. ^o^
anw.... HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO U..!!
wish u always happy, healthy and can reach ur dreams.
wish u all the very best things.. =)

what should i call it?

2010-11-07T00:21:00.007+08:00

For me, "IT" is care, concern, affection. but people said, "IT'S MY STUPIDITY"

November

2010-11-02T21:55:00.012+08:00

finally today is coming too.. i have been waiting for long time for this day. u know why?? I planned something that i prepared 2 months ago before i go back to Singapore. haha. i won't go public, let it become my secret bcoz some of my friends said i was too much by doing it. but for me, it's natural. i did it to show my concern. haha. but dunno la. different people different perception. =)
anw, there are so many of my friends celebrate their birthday today. 2nd November. HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO U, GUYS. and especially for Ko Ricky. ^o^ i wish u all the best..!!!

lately, i realise that i'm TOTALLY LOST!! =( i do not know what my 4 subjects in UOL are talking about. haiz. what am i suppose to do?? I am so afraid. but i do not know how to start. hikz. T.T
i need help!! Help Me..!!!

i admit that sometimes i smile not bcoz i am happy. Have u ever felt the same like me??
something that i can't describe in words can describe through picture. hehe. =)

thx for Ko Boby for ur corporation. thank you xo much.. ^o^ and also all people at the backstage. thank you guys.. =)

searching...

2010-10-24T21:51:00.010+08:00

Since 2 years ago, i was looking for "someone". Today i suddenly remember him. I have ever searched him on facebook, but i was so stupid, i only know his name and not his full name. LOL~~ so that i couldn't find him. Moreover i also can't recall his face already. hahaha.. i met him 6 years ago and our meeting only for short time. i dunno the reason why i didn't meet him after that. i can't remember. haha. i just wanna know how he is doing after that. and just know, i suddenly remember i have his friend's facebook. His friend told me he is getting married next week. LOL~~ what a coincidence huh.
so since i know that good news, CONGRATULATIONS .. i wish u have a happy new family. wish u get baby soon after married. wish your new family all the best best best things. ^o^

school...

2010-10-17T20:03:00.009+08:00

I'd like to share some interesting pictures.. I love to see these pictures.. They're so cute. hehe..

anyway..
let me introduce my 4 lovely subjects I have in UOL.. >,<
POA (Principle of Accounting)
PBF (Principle Banking & Finance)
CF (Corporate Finance)
ME (Managerial Economic)

hhh.. these 4 subjects are killing me slowly and softly.. haiz. They're DIFFICULT.. hikz.. Too many new things for me to learn. many assignments too. although these assignments will not be counted to determine the exam result. My exam result will be held once a year and it will be 100% pure exam result. >.< AFRAID?? YES, I AM.
I dun have idea why i can't sleep well recently. Although i went to bed earlier, but i can't sleep. My brain still work. dunno what it was thinking about. hhhh.. I want to sleep a whole day.

Sometimes, I regret with the decisions i made in the past. but i dunno what should i do to live well without regret. time can't turn back, i can't change anything i made. hhh..

It's October

2010-10-08T18:56:00.005+08:00

wah.. time runs faster than usual. It's already 3 weeks since i came here. haha.. that's good. =) it means i am a little bit closer to the holiday and maybe time will help me to heal everything especially heart problem.
last week, i lost my watch, my lovely one. haiz.
It's my watch. i always wear it whenever i go. My parents deliberately bought this watch for me as a present. haiz. but i lost it. This watch always accompanied me everyday for 2 years ++. I don't know where it fell. At that time, a boy asked me for tissue and i gave him, because it was the last one, i threw the plastic in trash bin. at the same time, the bus was coming, i was rushed take the bus. After about 15 minutes, i realized my watch has disappeared. I was no longer wear it. haiz. I searched and looked for my watch at the bus stop after lecturer, but i couldn't find it. I felt sad and so sorry to my parents. =( I really love it. so IF u see this watch or when u go somewhere and find the same pattern with my watch, please let me know. Thank You.. !! =)

LOST!!!

2010-09-29T12:28:00.006+08:00

i am LOST!!!!
i dunno where i am right now,
also dunno what i am gonna do,
dunno my plan for tomorrow and future.
recently i made too many bad decisions.
i decided everything without think first and end it up with regret.
feel bad.. *sobs*
i have fallen up and haven't tried to get up.
i tried to stand up once, but i felt again.
now i'm trying to stand up again but i can't move.
"i am trying to find my way"
there are many directions in front of my eyes.
go left, right, straight up or back up.
but i haven't chosen any one of them.
i ,sometimes, still look at my back, still try to find the way to go back.
someone, please knock me so i can see this world with my eyes, brain and heart open widely.

curiousity

2010-09-24T13:40:00.006+08:00

After many things happened for this lately 3 years, I wonder know something that I always ask myself for the answer. But till now, I still can't figure out the answer yet.
If i were them, will i choose the same decision too?? Hurting 2 people that love each other to get my own happiness?? I am not them. I do not know what they were thinking of. Do they know that their decision made this couple separate one another? By forcing the other side to leave the one that he/she loves, both sides are hurting. This is not the decision they want to take, but they MUST take.

anw, school started last Monday. I am not in mood to study but the lecturers have given us homeworks. haiz. Oh ya.. I suggest u to watch "3 IDIOTS". This is an india film. Sad, funny, happiness, u will find it there. I learned something from it, hope u too.. ^o^

bad mood..

2010-09-22T21:22:00.008+08:00

haiz haiz haiz...
My parents called me just now and suddenly they mad at me. I dunno what was going on. sigh.. I dun like if one mad at me without reason. Then they told me "their friends" came to them and told them something about me.. what the hell..!!! who exactly are "they"?? i have never disturbed them, and i even have never talked to them but why they said something bad about me to my parents. sigh. I really dun like them. If i know who they are, i exactly will SCOLD at them. I know this is so rude, but this thing not only happened once but already several times. My patient have its own limitation. They have their own children but why they must concern about me.. please.. To them: Do concern to your children not to others especially me!! I have my own parents. Let them concern about me NOT you.
sigh.. i really hate them. Why do they always come to my parents and tell something bad about me? Don't they have their own family? Are they too free, get nothing to do, so they must take care of myself?? haiz. I am tired to face this situation. Next time if this thing happens again, i dunno what must i do.. >.<"

Bridging holiday is over

2010-09-19T14:24:00.006+08:00

yihaaa...!!
i'm back to boring country..

i couldn't online in my hometown, i was busy with my things.. hehe..
i miss u my blog.. =)
Anw, it seems i wrote my index number correctly. the result had come out last month. It is an unexpected one. Thanks God.. ^o^

I spent my holiday in my hometown, Sibolga, but this holiday was different. My senior high school friends went back too. We met each other and i spent my day with them. We went out everyday, exactly every night. haha.. we also joined with our senior. Every night, we were going to measure the street.. haha. and the end of august, we celebrated Rocky and Botaks' birthday.
Happiness also comes with sadness.. But fortunately, my friends and family were there, gave me support. Thanks guys, especially for Rocky, Botaks, Indra, and Desy. But overall, I enjoyed this holiday. For Rocky, my cousin, Ganbatte!!!

anw, my UOL class starts tml. feel so lazy. i still want my holiday. but it seems i do not have any holiday till December that means my day will be boring again everyday.. fiuhhh...!!! But i know the time never stop, the next holiday will come. =)

they said "all things take processes and stages and time will help us to through it all"

i hope i wrote it correctly

2010-08-09T21:11:00.005+08:00

i'm afraid now..
last wednesday, i had my math exam..
and i realize there might be something wrong.
maybe i wrote my index number wrongly.
maybe i wrote 25 instead of 26.
i'm afraid. if i wrote it wrongly, will i fail??
hikz.. i really don't want to fail.
but i really can't remember what i write on my answer booklet.
but i remember my seat number that is 189.

hiks... hikss.. hikss... T.T
i really dunno what to do.
tml i will go to school, to ask whether they can help me to check it out.
i hope they can help me..
i'm worried, nervous.
although i did quite well in exam,
but now i really do not care my score, above or below my expectation.
just can pass the passing grade is enough.
I JUST DO NOT WANT TO FAIL.. *sobs*
I WANT TO PASS.
God.. please help me, please..
i do not want to make my parents dissapointed again.

Sheng ri kuai le

2010-08-04T12:07:00.006+08:00

"Happy Birthday" to my lovely brother..
u're 17th today..
yeah.. exactly sweeeeet 17th.
wish u all the best.. may ur dreams come true.
get gf soon.. hehe..
i love u dek.. muach.. xixixi.. =)

anyway, tonight at 7pm, i will have my math exam. wish me luck.
God, please help me to get good score. :)

shocked news

2010-07-29T20:23:00.006+08:00

finally, i watched DESPICABLE ME with Linda. It's really funny, cute. It helped me to refresh my mind although just for 2 hours. ^o^ This holiday actually is given for us to prepare everything for exam. But how come i can went out and watched movie?? Am i ready to face the exam?? the answer for sure is NO, if it's for ECONS. The Math still ok for me, but not econs. I didn't pay much attention during lecture. I'm still blur. The lecturer also didn't want to give the last exam paper. he said it's useless, but not for me. In my opinion, if i can do more questions well, it gives me more confidence and at least i know the pattern of the exam question. I really can't figure out how the exam questions will be.

And the most important news came yesterday night. It really made me SHOCKED. yeah, i knew this news on the first day of my bridging class. but i didn't believe. This morning, i accompanied linda ask the admin for the certainty and the news is true. The news is DMS students are EXEMPTED for econs. That means, bridging econs is choice for us to choose at the first place. The admin suggested us to take it bcoz it might be can be used for UOL later, but it's NOT compulsory. We are able to not sit on the exam day. for those who wants to take it ,they also said that it's okay if DMS students do not pass the exam, bcoz the econs is actually already EXEMPTED. if we sit in the exam, how hard we do the exam, the result that come out later will be only a word, that is EXEMPTED. sighhh.. i really dunno what should i do now. Do i need to spend my whole day to study econs that i exactly know the answer for the result?? >.<

movie

2010-07-24T22:09:00.009+08:00

for the 1st time, i slept 15 hours.
it's quite surprised me. :p

anw, SORCERER'S APPRENTICE is amazing..it's very funny..
suggest u to watch this.
u won't regret. =)
watch the trailer here..

but i haven't watched DESPICABLE ME.. >.<
wanna watch this movie..
they looked very funny and cute. ^^
ytd i went to hmv. I find so many interesting novels. But i have spent a lot this month, already more than my budget.. T.T Now i must do "SAVING".. I wanna buy them.. Actually, i still have some novels that i haven't read up yet. But i want to add my novel collections.. xixi.. =)

Desy's holiday at SG

2010-07-21T21:53:00.005+08:00

Last week Desy came to SG.
she studies at Xiamen and has summer holiday.
so she decided to transit here for 5 days 4 nights.
our 1st day, went to Tampines, Expo and Bugis.
2nd day, orchard and esplanade.
3rd day, Vivo and Clarke Quay.
i only accompanied her for 3 days.
bcoz i had class on monday.
these 3 days were very tired tired day..
we went out whole day.
we went shopping for sure,
and i spent more than my budget..
omg.. i dunno why this time i couldn't stand to not shopping.
we were shopping crazily. haha.

:: riki . budi . desy . fang ::

anw, it's already 1 month since i reached SG..
and now it's time for EXAM..!!
this time, we only have 1 month class for 2 subjects.
God, please help me to pass.

thx friends..

2010-07-13T21:01:00.010+08:00

how many friends you have will accompany you till the end??

you duo shao peng you pei ni dao zui hou??

i heard this sentence on TV..
i ask myself the answer,
but i can't find out.

friend is....
someone very special i got in this life.
without them, i can't survive.
someone who is willing to stand beside me,
sharing their life, sadness, happiness with me..
but i dunno whether they may accompany me till the end.
will u, friend??

friend...
maybe some of u are very tired facing me right now.
maybe some of u still try to stand..
to listen to my problem, my story..
but friend,
u need to know,
i am here.. also willing to listen to ur story.
maybe i can't help u to solve everything,
but i can lend u my ears to listen to ur story,
i can lend u my shoulder when u want to cry..
and i can lend u my hand to wipe ur tears.
but friends,
i also dunno whether i can accompany u till the end..
but i will try to do the best in our friendship.

so,
i really want to thank everyone..
thank you friends for accompany me till now..
without u guys, i am nothing.
u are the best friends i got on this life..

thanks a lot to my parents..
i know u will accompany me to the end,
although i never ask for it.
i am aware i am really nothing in this world without u.
"thanks" is not enough yet to pay what u have given to me..
but the only way i can express my feeling now is by saying
THANKS DAD, THANKS MOM..
I LOVE U..!!!
i will try to do my best..
i dun want to make u dissapointed.

world cup

2010-07-12T14:31:00.008+08:00

Today is 12 July 2011..
the final of WORLD CUP..
Netherlands vs Espain =)
the match started on 2.30 am.
i have never watched final of world cup before.
this is the first time. haha.

i was so excited to watch it, dunno y.
so ytd planned to sleep 2 hours in the afternoon.
then slept quickly in the evening.
but, i couldn't sleep in the evening.
so i waited till 2.30 am. haha.
it finished on 5 am.
and i watched till they receive the GOLD WORLD CUP
it's almost 5.30 then i went sleep
and woke up again on 6.45 am,
bcoz i got morning class on 8.30 am.
i only slept for 1 hour...
i can feel my head was very hurt at class..

the first 90 mins, the score was still 0-0
i was almost fall asleep.
but the match was very interesting.
there were many chances to make goal, but there was no goal created.
so there was an additional 30 mins,
then on minute 116,
GOALLL...!!!!
SPAIN made GOAL..
finally.. SPAIN win... yay. =)
i support for SPAIN of coz.

today's kevin's first school day.
he is entering a kindergarden..
haha. can't imagine he wears his uniform,
muz be so cute.. xixi.. ^o^
miss u dd..

weird..

2010-07-10T15:57:00.004+08:00

wanna cry..
but dunno the cause.
juz feel like tears will come out..

what exactly happen??
i am not sad..
but y the tears want come out??
it has already happened for a week..
sometimes, i feel my heart beat faster than usual.
sometimes feel hurt inside my heart..
sometimes tears already on the edge of my eyes.
must they flow out??
hhh.. it's weird.. =(

wanna say..

2010-07-06T12:53:00.006+08:00

yeah..
there are so many things i want to talk bout.
but i forget already. >.<

ermm.. maybe the 1st thing is bout.. "AUTUMN CONCERTO"
i really suggest u to watch this drama.
it's not a boring one.
sad, happiness, all inside here.
i cried on the first minute till 4 or 5 episodes.
it was really touched.
i plan to watch this drama again on holiday. haha.. ^o^

the 2nd thing..
SCIENCE CENTRE
luv this place..
so many things inside bout science..
u must go there. =)
it's located on jurong east.
u may take bus 335 or 66.

3rd thing..
suddenly, i luv pink. haha.
but a soft one.
dunno since when, i tried to collect pink stuffs.
but i still love green..

hhh.. i really forget what i want to write.
later if i rmb, i will update it soon. hehe.

am i wrong??

2010-06-28T20:36:00.008+08:00

is there anything i did in the past make u sad??
did i do something wrong to you, guys??
this feeling not only appears today but also in the past..
idk whether i have ever did something bad to u.
i feel, it seems some people keep their distance with me.
i can't remember what i ever did to them..
if i did bad things to u, so sorry... forgive me..
but, please tell me..
maybe when u tell me, i can become more better than today.
i want to make friends with you. ^o^
dun keep distance with me..!!!

i'm human not a stone..
i'm exist in this world.
dun make it like i never appear.

Graduation Dae

2010-06-25T18:49:00.007+08:00

I had completed my diploma last year,
and today, 25 June 2010, it's time for GRADUATION Day..!! ^o^
but..... i dun join it. =(
already registered but two days ago i canceled it.
a little bit sad and regret, but it's ok la.
i still have one more graduation for degree.. =)

wah, there were so many people attended the graduation.
they wore the graduation gown.
i really want to wear this gown, but bcoz i dun rent the gown,
so i borrowed linda's gown. hehe. thx lin.. ^o^

at the first time, i really wanted to join it.
but disaster came two weeks before i came to SG.
my face suddenly got so many swollen things, and it's exactly NOT pimple.
i dunno what they're. hikz.. my face.. >.<
at the other hand, my parents also can't come to SG..
so i decided to cancel it.
but my parents said they will exactly come on my degree's graduation.
so... FIGHTING..!!!
i must PASS the bridging course first..
then after that, must study hard for the UOL,
bcoz so many students said UOL is difficult.
i'm doubt..
but I MUST DO WELL..!!! MUST PASS!!

God.. help me..
help me to reach my goal.. ^o^

help..!!!

2010-05-21T18:07:00.004+08:00

haiz haiz haiz..
i wonder..
y i always get problem with my study??
last time.. i must go to sg bcoz there was problem with the contract
and they needed my signature..
now, i haven't got any email from ICA about IPA letter and student pass..
sigh... >.<
i dunno what will happen later when i reach sg..
there are so many problems that i must face..
fiuh... it's enough..

i need HELP..!!!
can someone help me??
how can i solve my problems???

do u rmb??

2010-05-02T20:04:00.005+08:00

ytd..
1st of MAY..!!
my friends in junior high school,
u definitely must know and remember what day it is..
i myself can't forget her as one of part of my life..

idk exactly what was happening..
i dunno i did it wrong or not..
i hurt someone or not..
i hope i did not.. >.<

my school will start soon..
i dun want to leave my hometown asap..
i know i already had a ver long long holiday..
but~~~
dunno why, i still dun want to go back asap..
i only have one month left.. >.<
God, i'm sorry..
forgive me coz all of my fault i did recently..

busy weeks

2010-04-17T10:33:00.006+08:00

hi hi..
i'm in sg now..
only stay here for 3 days..
i MUST come bcoz there are so many problems that occured..
one of them, my sch need my signature.. >.<>no more problem,, i hope so..

I'M TOTALLY TIRED.. >.<
I just went back to sbg on saturday night..
as u know, medan-sibolga takes 9-10 hours..
but on tuesday, the problem came and i MUST go to sg asap..
so i went to medan again on wednesday..
aih.. i'm really tired.. sit in the car for 9-10 hours.. T.T
then, on thursday i went to sg and i will go back today.. :)
but when i reach medan, i must go back to sbg again..
owh.. tired.. >.<" but at least i can continue my study in sg.. hehe..

thx so much for my parents, my relatives, Irena, and Yunus

PONCAN..!!!

2010-03-28T15:46:00.004+08:00

still in Sibolga...!!!
last sunday, ko Jul's wife came to SIBOLGA for the first time..
she is beautiful for sure, mature, and nice.. hehe..
next time i will post photo of them together.. :)
so.. last sunday, we decide to go to PONCAN island..
coz it's a favourite place for foreigner.. lol..
PONCAN island is surrounded by sea..
u can do adventure there,..

i like our journey..
but unluckily, my sandal was broke when i played in the seaside.. haha..
but everything that happened at that day were so nice.. :)
enjoy every moment there..

so.. guys..
if u're interested to go there too..
come to my lovely hometown..
i will bring u there.. hehe..
accomodation?? dun worry.. u can stay in my home.. hehe..

sometimes, things are going so complicated..

2010-02-27T23:15:00.005+08:00

aloha..
i'm here in SIBOLGA.. ^o^

my friends were already went back to medan, beijing and jakarta..
haiz..
i love and miss the time when we gathered.. :)

my dad didn't allow me to go to jkt..
sigh..
yeah.. i love to stay in SBG,
but i wanna spend my holiday by going somewhere..
i dun want to go back to SG asap..
huh.. >,<

sometimes, we can't get what we want..
but actually we can get more than it..

friend,
i know exactly what u feel

juz believe that we haven't build a bridge,
but someday we will..
cherish ourself.. ^o^

CNY

2010-02-18T17:36:00.005+08:00

HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR ALL..!!!

Happy Valentine Day too..!!

diz year..
i'm trying my best to do everything,
coz i dun want feel regret someday..
new year, new age, new spirit..
hope diz year will be better than last year..

have a great Chinese New Year celebration..
coz all my family went back to Sibolga..
met one another and met a new member that is Richard, my nephew.. ^o^
he is so cute.. i like him so much..
oh ya.. we have CNY theme for diz year, that is:
PERHATIKAN BAIK - BAIK..
haha.. i will rmb every moment in diz CNY.. ^o^

Happy B'day to me and Richard.. ^o^
got a wonderful b'day in my hometown..
thx for my family and my friends.. ^o^
i luv u all..

u need to know...

2010-02-10T00:39:00.005+08:00

there is no lie here...
from the first time i made this blog till now..

I'M NOT STRONG ENOUGH TO FACE THE REALITY..
(about "it")

i have tried my best to face it..
but...
i still not strong enough..
i never want u see me as a WEAK GIRL..
i was just lost myself since that day..

every tear that came out can't cure everything..
crying made me felt a little bit better..
i can't scold u.. talked to u..
or even told u..
the only way i could do was remember about u, about us in the past..

i'm writing this
doesn't mean i'm weak..
i just want u know how i feel..

February

2010-02-03T09:40:00.004+08:00

it's Feb now...
big things happened last year..
i still rmb every moment on that month..
Last year on feb,
i couldn't control myself and did something silly..
guyz around must know what exactly happened to me.. :)

this Feb..
i wanna change it..
dun want to do silly things again..

this year, i will celebrate CNY and my b'day with all my family..
haha.. bye2 loneliness like last year.. ^o^

btw..
people said "dream is the oppossite of the reality"..
is it true??
got dream ytd..
dunno it's good or bad..
dunno what will happen if it's really happen in real..
what a weird dream!!

anyway,
i dunno what exactly has happened to u, guyz?
but i felt guilty bcoz i didn't stay at ur home..
are u still angry??
i read ur blog, i knew something has happened to u..
u can share ur sadness to me..
i'm here...!!! ^o^