unexpected

I am speechless, stunned. I really thank GOD for what U have given for me. I never thought that i will get this surprise. Although it still uncertain to get it, but really THANK GOD for giving me such a chance. The result of this chance will depend on my effort. I admit i put much effort last year compare to this year. I was too enjoying myself during these 7 months. But, because of this news, i wake up now. I realize i have left many things behind me. I need to give much much effort than last year, even double effort for my study. I do not know whether i have enough time to catch up everything or not. I only have less than 4 months to catch 36 topics. One thing is certain that time will not stop even if i cry blood. I do not want to waste this chance, but if i do not well for my last year, the chance will disappear. So, i will try my best to stop playing and start studying.

GOD, i really thank  U for giving me this chance. ^o^

2012 begins..

HAPPY NEW YEAR 2012!!

Happy Metta Day.. Be HAPPY everyone.

Hope this year will be the best year for us, will be much much better than 2011.

Like i said in my previous post, I am in SG celebrating the new year. This year is very different with last year. I celebrate new year with my friends. This is the first time we celebrate new year together. Although it was just 4 of us, but it is memorable. We went to City Hall, it is looked like sea of people. Fortunately we can find the best place to watch fireworks. Thanks GOD. The fireworks lasted for more than 10 mins, they were beautiful. <3 The first think came to my mind at that time is i wish my parents may also watch this beautiful fireworks. Happy New Year, mom, dad! I love youuu!!
Some people said, new year must have new resolution. How bout urs?? I got list of them in my head already. New resolutions start from 00.00.01 on 1 January 2012. hehe. XD

anw, i am so tired. i'll continue and upload some photos next time.

Good Night and Happy New Year again guyss.. =)

end of 2011

This year i also do not go back to my hometown. Beside the ticket is too expensive, i also got no holiday. hhh... I cannot say i got no holiday, i got but only 24-26 and 31-2. I got class between that range and for this time i do not complaint about it. XD Some of my friends were going back already before Christmas while the rest of us still stay in Singapore. But before they went back to Indonesia, we made Christmas party. We ate buffet on Seoul Garden like i told on my last post that i sick after ate there. hehe. We exchanged Christmas gift, and i got colorful stabillo from Pei. She said the gift is for me to get first class. haha. Thanks pei for ur wish. Sadhu.. I wish i can get, but i know my own ability. haha. It is impossible for me, but thank u for the wish. ^^

I spent Christmas eve with Mira at Sentosa. Unluckily, there was no Christmas party or any Christmas celebration, but i enjoyed my day with her. =) Today is her birthday. Happy birthday Miraaaa!!! wish u all the best! good luck for our coming exam. May Tri Ratna always protect u. BBU!! ^^ Me, Jessica Taffy and Preily celebrated her birthday and spent whole day with her. Woah.. I feel so happy today, we had fun together. I went out for 10 hours. haha. It is good to forget about JK for a while. Yeah, we r going to spent New Year's eve together again. It is left than 24 hours to 2012. hhh... Ganbatte for myself! ^^

oh ya. finally, i went to listen to Ajahn Brahm's Dhamma Talk on 29 Dec. Thanks to ce Vicky, ce Candrika and ko Heinz for helping me. The theme of the talk is ''letting go the past, embracing the future''. It was great talk. Ajahn Brahm said ''we need to think in positive way. people said there will be crisis economy in 2012, but Ajahn Brahm said we can fix it. We need to think positively''. anw, if some of u that ever thought the world will end on Dec 2012, u may feel assure because Ajahn Brahm said the world will not end this year, so we still have time to do a lot a lot good karma. =) Ajahn Brahm also said ''we learn from mistakes we did in the past'' and i believe this. Good news for all of us in Singapore, Ajahn Brahm will  back to Singapore on March 2012. Come to His talk, i guarantee u will not regret. ^^

My LIFE is NOT PERFECT..

But It does not mean, My LIFE is not BEAUTIFUL!! ^o^

REGRET!!!

I am regret. SH*T!! Really regret. sigh. why i ate so many things on today's lunch. i know i had buffet this afternoon in seoul garden, but i doesn't mean i can eat everything i want. I ate like crazy one. sigh. I am really regret. why i did not just agree when others suggest to had lunch on paradise dynasty. haiz. if i agreed with my friend's suggestion to have lunch there, i will not eat that much. arghhh.. why i am so stupid? never control what i had eaten. sigh. super idiot liao!! i ate too many salty curry fish, vegetables, chicken and beef with many taste, after that i ate 2 bowls of ice cream with 8 scoops on them and had another fruits. I also had lemon tea, peach tea and cappuccino. i really just realized i ate so many things on lunch. No wonder my stomach become so big and complaint me. then at the end, my gastric pain came and my stomach still hurt till now. ='( and the most regretful thing is my face become swollen and big. arghhh.. can i make my face thin??? i need tight diet already since chinese new year will come soon. I am afraid i can not wear my clothes that i bought last time. :'( but why each time i do diet, my face never thin??? hikz. arghhh.. i am really so stupid. If i agreed with my friends to had lunch in other place, i won't suffer these pains. I AM REGRET!!

dear my stomach, face, and whole part of my body: ''forgive me''. i promise this is the last time, i did this crazy things, really no next time. can u guys back to the normal size?? i will do diet. really!! just help me.. pleasee.. help me to have success diet till chinese new year. pleeeaseee!! *begging.


I am here writing this post just to make myself know, not blaming anyone else. Because i know it's my fault. I'd better say here clearly, rather than other people will misunderstand me again. As u know, i am lazy to explain when it comes to misunderstanding.

I am not only regret whatever stupidity i did this afternoon, but also i regret why i did not study from the beginning, now i am lost. i really lost on my subjects. each time i say i want to change and start study, but the reality i did not. since this is my last year, why i become so lazy?? why i never wake up and learn from my second year that rushing study for UOL can make me crazy. UOL is not as easy as other school. 3 hours on exam will determine our future. but why i always do the wrong thing and have never waken up yet and me even become worse than second year. I really do not where i should start to study now. All of my subjects has reached the middle topic of the whole year's chapters. Can i catch them up?? I realize that now i left far far away behind my friends. They always study after the classes end, while me stay in front of my laptop doing useless thing. When will i change this bad habit?? I do not have enough time anymore if i do not start study soon. 2012 will come soon, u and me only need to count down using 10 fingers. hmm.. guys, i really regret now. really! T.T i am afraid if i can not do well on my exam. I only need to get 34 for all subjects. Just let me pass and it is okay for me. I do not want to dissapoint my parents and my god-grandparents, especially my god- grandfather who has left me forever. *anw, i miss u kakek. ='(

Me now is really bad. I waste so many precious time of my life while others even want to have more time but they can not have it. I really regret with what i had done. I feel like nothing. I even have not did something that make my parents proud of me yet. hhhh.. So bad liaooo!!! what kind of girl i am??

GOD, can you forgive me??

I just notice and realise something. My lately posts seems so desperate. Almost all of them! haha. yeah yeah, I am desperate now. So stress!! There are so many things to do but i do not know which part to do first. >.< haiz.

anw, another desperate post in my twitter, "regret i used to want to fat a lil bit, who knows now i am really fat till dunno how to be thin". haha. i have problem with my chubby cheeks. They are so big. omg. This time i really do diet. wish me success. Restricition no 1. No bread in the morning anymore. Everyday eat bread on breakfast make me wanna vomit. Really, it is enough for me to eat bread every day in these 3 months. I'd better skip my breakfast rather than eat bread again!!

anw, i watched PUSS in BOOTS!! I couldn't stop laughing all the time. =) RECOMMENDED!

Dear blog:
Thanks, you never leave me alone. Thanks to listen everything bullshit that i wrote on you. I feel so great to have u. Although u can not gimme answer towards my answers but u let others help me to go out from my problems. Blog, i know sometimes u want to complain me because of my stupidity and bad habit, but u do not, and still listen me. When i cannot find my best friend to share my days, problems, and happiness, u will come and let me to tell everything out. Honestly speaking, i think i lose my best friend already. Since that incident, our friendship has changed. We rarely talked, shared, chat, etc. I really do miss every time with my best friend. I felt like he left me behind. Maybe i just need to wait till he said, "we are no longer best friend". T.T No word can explain how i feel right now, when i know i lose my best friend forever. ahhhh.. nooo...!!! What to do thennnn??? I wish he will never say that worst thing, never! T.T Blog, are u going to leave me someday?? Please, do not leave me, blog, because i am afraid being alone in this world.

alohaa.. November will end soon. It is just 8 hours left to December. Time really flies so fast. I even can not recall what have i done in this month. so scary! anw, i am fat!! omg. my weight still the same, but my face become chubby than before. it's so scary every time i look myself in the mirror. i have to find way out from this problem. >.<

I miss my best boy friend lately. I used to share with him, but now he is disappeared. I have no idea where he is now. haha. so bad. waaaa.. I miss him. There are so many things i want to share. >.< hhh.. maybe he is busy with his last semester since he will graduate the end of this year and again he do not tell me. sigh. i think i loss connection with him since 2 months ago. haiz. I wish we are still best friend!! >.<

hello world!

I miss home. Maybe because my roommate went back to Medan this evening. I want to go back too. yeah. time flies.my time to go back will come soon too. but the problem is i miss home so badly right now. ='(

i am tired of everything. There are so many things to do, but i do not know how to handle them. I have 4 subjects this year. JK's classes really make me crazy. He gives us homework, assignments, articles and tests and these are double since i have 2 subjects with him. Because of this, i left the other 2 sbjcts behind. haiz. i need a break. Mr JK, can u please stop give us so many articles? even the last topic's articles i haven't read yet. =( or just wait till i finish my readings.

honestly speaking, MA is very tough. I sometimes clueless when doing the homework. T.T but it doesn't mean, other subjects are not tough. they are tough too, but not as tough as MA. i am really afraid to face my exam next year. I just wish to pass. No need to score high, just gimme pass. it is enough for me. Afraid, anxious, nervous to think about exam. Sad because i can not handle my subjects, have no idea how to do homework and assignments, and miss my parents so much. I need to catch up. Pray for me, guys!!

Survival

Can I survive for the last battle in my degree? Life is getting tough everyday. I have so many assignments, homework, and article to read up. Everything is out of my controlled. I do not think i can handle all of them. I am breathless, clueless. It feels like there are so many things chase me, and i also need to catch the other things. My brain is full of list to do, but i just do not know how to start, where should i start.

When i see my friends are doing well, i am envy of them. How they can do it? Why i am the only one can not do well? Seriously, i need to study. There are so many things i do not know. But when i can start to study? Assignments, homework and articles are queuing up on their line and waiting for me to finish them up. hufffff... I wish time will run slowly or may i have more than 24 hours a day? I wish i am smart like others. Do not need to put so much effort in doing these things. But i am not. Then how can i survive? hhhh.. I HOPE I CAN SURVIVE TILL THE END! Sadhu3x.

JK's quotes: I am very happy to see you today. (8 words)

Sleep very early! (3 words)

Never die before!

are you boring? read articles! boring again? do assignments! still boring?? look for him to get any presents!

normal answers means normally wrong!
ti ti tu tu!!
u are not in mickey mouse university.

i just remember these quotes, later i will share another quotes from him.